“I honestly don’t think I can get out of bed today and start doing all the same things that I did yesterday again. And it’s still cold. Why won’t it be spring? I’ll stay in bed until spring. Work won’t mind. They owe me for covering for Jenny last winter when she was off for four months with SAD.”
The Acctim Mini Bell also has a nice sad backside, complete with diseased spots and assorted warts.
“Simon and I have been thinking. We think it’s time you moved in with one of us. You can still have your independence and bring your televisions with you, we just really think it’s time. What if you’d put your trousers in the oven, dad?”
Never thought I’d live to see the day that the egg was no longer visible on that griddle pan. One 24-pack of scouring pads and eight hours later and — kerching! — good as new.
*WALKS TO LOCAL CHINESE TAKEAWAY IN A MASSIVE SULK WHILE MUTTERING “BLOODY FAKE YOGURT” UNDER BREATH*
“I suppose your next stop should be to check the drain pipes and see if it washed down into the septic tank. You’re not allowed to sleep until the sock is found.”
“…so you can activate it via the voice control options by selecting the toolbar and paging right to the shortcut menu until the bezel expands to indicate you’ve highlighted the option. You’ll soon get the hang of it. You’ll need to input the Wi-Fi password from the back of the router again though. It’s the one that starts WF38j and remember it needs upper and lower case letters inputting correctly else you’ll be stuck with only the live TV channels for the afternoon until I get back from pilates with Jean. Don’t answer the phone if it rings. Bye.”
The rising nuclear cloud design echoes the sight everyone within a 70-mile radius will see should you insert them improperly. Lovely dot-of-the-i sun spot detailing, too. Only discovered due to dropping the light on the floor and breaking the case. They’ve been sitting there, inside a tool box, unused, for around seven years, still work and show zero signs of corrosion. Highly recommended, 8.5/10.