Spare ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS for a trip to the moon, guv?

We're going to think VERY HARD about ways to earn 100 million dollars so we can pay the Russians to take us to the Moon.

"Space tourists will not land on its surface but will circle its dark side and orbit close enough to examine its cratered lunar crust. They would live in two cramped modules about three metres across and eat biscuits and food in tubes."

WE WANT TO EAT BISCUITS IN TUBES AROUND THE MOON!

Imagine that! Not only do you get to go to the Moon, you also get to eat biscuits and crisps out of tubes! We're going to buy biscuits and crisps that come in tubes (Jaffa Cakes, Pringles) on the way home from work tonight, then sit in the airing cupboard and pretend we're going around the Moon with the Russians! (the water tank looks a bit like it could be an engine).

Then we'll have a wee in the shower, which is what all astronauts have to do because of the lack of gravity.

Guardian Unlimited | Special reports | Russia's great leap for tourism - a $100m trip to the moon