Nokia makes FOUR new rubbish phones for foreign people!

PROOF that Nokia's saving us all the best numbers -- rubbish South America is getting four new phones, numbered 2855, 6165, 1255 and 2355. Shit numbers! Who the handsfree-fuck would want a Nokia 1255?! That shit's like from the 80s.

One of them's even described as a "monoblock". There's no way you can bluetooth ideas for comical blog updates wirelessly from a "monoblock" to a 3G Nokia 6680. Poor "emerging growth markets".

IT HASN'T SENT OUT ANY PICTURES, SO WE GOT ONE OFF THE INTERNET THAT'S A BIT LIKE THEM:



Nokia 1255 phone: A classic value

The value-priced Nokia 1255 phone packs an extra-large feature set into an extra-small package. The 80-gram phone offers productivity tools such as a two-way handsfree speakerphone, voice recorder and a calendar with an alarm clock. Other fun features include two built-in games, 20 ringtones and a selection of user-selectable screen savers. In recognition of the need to stay in touch while minimizing downtime, the Nokia 1225 phone delivers up to four hours of talk time and up to 10 days of standby time. A partial list of additional features includes:

- 250 contact phonebook
- Text messaging (HA HA! STUPID FOREIGN PEOPLE HAVE ONLY JUST GOT TEXT MESSAGING!)
- Stopwatch and countdown timer
- Internal vibrating alert
- Easy-to-use Nokia user interface (IT NEEDS TO BE HARD, BECAUSE IT'LL BE THEIR FIRST EVER MOBILE PHONE!)


Nokia 2355 phone: Low cost, high impact

Following the Nokia tradition of delivering high-impact products to all market segments, the new Nokia 2355 phone delivers an ultra-compact, color screen 78-gram fold-style phone to the entry-level market. The 128 x 128 pixel 65K color screen, built-in FM radio and integrated flashlight allow the Nokia 2355 phone to deliver a unique set of features to owners, while the ability to download BREW 1.2 or Java MIDP 1.0 content, such as ringtones, games and screensavers, offers value-added services that meet the needs of both consumers and operators. Other selected features of the Nokia 2355 phone include:

- Text and multimedia messaging
- Integrated speakerphone
- WAP 2.0 compliant browser
- 16-chord polyphonic ringtones (HA HA! THEY CAN'T SET EMINEM MP3S AS RING TONES!)
- Calendar with alarm clock


Nokia 2855 phone

Featuring a bold color palette including metallic-finish indigo or cabernet, the Nokia 2855 phone is Nokia's most affordable Bluetooth technology enabled CDMA handset. The large 128 x 160 pixel 262K color main display is perfect for viewing MMS messages and enjoying the customizable themes that make the Nokia 2855 phone unique for each owner. For maximum productivity on the go, the Nokia 2855 phone features an extensive phonebook with room for up to 500 entries - each allowing for 5 phone numbers, e-mail address, web address and a notes field per entry. Additional features of the Nokia 2855 phone include:

- Integrated handsfree speakerphone
- Voice memo recorder and voice dialing
- High-fidelity MP3/AAC ringtone support (OH.)


Nokia 6165 phone

The Nokia 6165 phone shares the strong feature set of the Nokia 2855 phone, and builds upon it by adding a full one-megapixel camera with flash and built-in infrared technology to provide support for all major types of connectivity - Bluetooth, USB cable, and infrared. Support for location-based services allow the Nokia 6165 phone to take advantage of mobile applications that take advantage of positioning information for accessing information on nearby points of interest, directions and more. Other unique features of the Nokia 6165 phone include:

- Support for capturing, sending and viewing video
- Classic design with bright chrome accents
- Streaming video (THIS ONE SOUNDS ALL RIGHT. MAYBE WE SHOULD'VE LEFT IT OFF BECAUSE IT KIND OF SPOILS OUR "FOREIGN PEOPLE GET SHIT PHONES" JOKE)