A mobile phone -- for fucking DOGS

If you really hate your dog, why not strap a microwave transmitter permanently to the side of its head so it dies really quickly from a brain tumour?



On the plus side you'll know where to find its corpse, and while it's still alive you can call it, then say "Dinner!" and your dog will come for dinner! It also has a "two way communication ability" so your dog can talk back -- presumably telling you it wants sausages for dinner (or, if you've trained it really well, what kind of sausages it wants for dinner).

MORE MADNESS HERE:
Pets Mobility

IT'S BOUND TO BE A VIRAL "JOKE":
The PetsCellTM - the first voice enabled waterproof GPS cell phone optimized for animals, will be available for distribution early in 2006. Measuring approximately 5 cm's wide, 2.5 cm's thick and 9.4 cm's long, the PetsCellTM sets the standard for GPS tacking devices for pets. Incorporating industry leading GPS technology, the 2-way communication ability of the PetsCellTM will deliver a consistency and quality of fixes across a spectrum encompassing conditions that existing pet tracking devices will not match. With remote programmable geo-fence capability and a temperature sensor accompanied with a variety of other attachable devices, the PetsCellTM will quite simply be the standard against which all other pet tracking devices are measured. The PetsMobilityTM PetsCellTM is the solution for lost pets.

PetsMoTM - PetsMobilityTM 's online community for pet lovers. PetsMoTM is a forum based website where pet lovers from around the world can interact on variety of pet related subject matters with other like minded people. At www.petsmo.com, pet lovers can engage in discussions about pet related lifestyle issues, off leash parks, petstrology, pet dating, veterinarian, breeds, events, instant messaging, chat forum, news and articles. By the fourth quarter 2006, PetsMoTM will be launched in over 25 North American and selected International cities around the world.

Ruff MediaTM
PetsMobilityTM's e-median division, "Ruff MediaTM" has been set up to take advantage of the growing functionality that cell phones and hand held devices are playing in the everyday lives of consumers. PetsMobility has created proprietary content that will facilitate the interaction between retailers and consumers in the form of streamed sponsored infotainment.