Thursday, June 30, 2005

Air Zoom Miler LAF -- Lance Armstrong's new shoes

Possible next new trainers!

Amazing and unstoppable cycling machine Lance Armstrong debuts his designs in Nike's new 10//2 Collection.

Air Zoom Miler LAF

NIKE MAN: Hey Lance, what do you want us to do?
LANCE: Um, a yellow stripe, like how I always win the Yellow Jersey?
NIKE MAN: OK. The cheque is on its way. Thanks.

Hate Horses?

Finally! A web site that vocalises our feelings about horses:

I HATE HORSES ON HORSE SHOES:
"Hey! I have an idea! How about I nail a hat to your head and some pants to your ass? How about I nail a toilet to your big uncontrollable asshole?

"No, wait, I have a better idea, why don't we nail some contact lenses in your stupid big black eyes."

AMESOME HORSE-HATE: I Hate Horses.

PSP MAME

Only works with Omega Fighter at this time. But still.

PSP MAME in action

Scroll down for ages past all the fucking ads: PSP MAME

ROBOTS -- getting more action than us

They've made a robotic arm for remotely feeling women's tits with. Imagine the potential when this technology filters down to internet users!



If it can also open jam jars males will become OBSOLETE.

The Engineer Online - Robotic breast exam

Woman "will shag you" for Wimbledon Ticket

Problem is, she'll be a 55-year-old inmate of Henman Hill.

Erotic Fun in Exchange for Wimbledon Ticket

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Haier HV700DL 7" Portable DVD Player

Crikey. When did portable DVD players with screens on start being only 80 quid?

How long have we been away for?

Haier HV700DL 7" Portable DVD Player

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

WOMEN! THINGS BEING HELD!

This site is stealing our idea, only cleverly doing it before us so it looks like we copied it off them. Ingenious.

It's Tech Babe Asia and it's an entire site about women holding things.

And putting things near their mouths:

No, IN. Put it IN.

Tech Babe Asia - Asian Tech Show Booth Babes, Companions, Girls and more!

The Fujifilm CamCushion

Yes, it really is just a cushion for putting your camera on. We like to put our camera on a table or pile of CDs, saving ourselves ten pounds.

fujifilm camcushion

THIS IS HOW FUJIFILM JUSTIFIES CHARGING YOU A TENNER FOR A SMALL CUSHION:
Fujifilm today expanded its digital camera accessories range with the launch of its handy Camcushion.

Filled with resin beads, and made from a durable, hard-wearing material, the Camcushion is a great companion for busy photographers wanting a steady platform for their cameras, or when use of a table-top tripod is impractical or just not possible. The no-nonsense cushion sits on any surface and is the ideal platform for cameras to rest safely and securely - perfect for self-timer shots or long exposures.

Just the thing for awkward shooting situations, the cushion is lightweight and can easily slip into a camera bag. Furthermore, the Camcushion cuts out camera shake in low light situations, when flashes are not permitted and longer shutter speeds are required - just like a tripod but without the time-consuming setting-up. It's also a convenient way to stabilise your camera if you're using it as a webcam.

The Fujifilm Camcushion is available from photographic retailers throughout the UK and has a suggested retail price of £9.99 (including VAT).

Monday, June 27, 2005

Your next girlfriend -- a DVD-powered faceless machine

"Researchers have developed a mannequin with a built-in projector that can resemble a face of one's choice" -- she's called Cleopatra, and has a TV screen for a face.



No details on the realism of her genitalia is available at time of writing.

Japanese get a chance to chat up Cleopatra with DVD-powered mannequin - Yahoo! News

*ROBOT THREAT UPDATE* -- Now they can FLY

"The X-45A proved it could autonomously react to a dynamic threat environment while engaging a priority target," said David Koopersmith, Boeing J-UCAS X-45 vice president and program manager. "Onboard planning and decision capabilities like these will make our next unmanned system, the X-45C, a highly survivable platform for the warfighter."

TRANSLATION: "MACHINE RAIN DEATH ON HUMANS FROM SKY"

robot plane

It even *looks* menacing.

gizmag Article: Boeing X-45A Unmanned Aircraft Demonstrates Autonomous Capability

Pantech GI 100 -- fingerprint locked mobile

It looks a bit, er, "slimline" (TRANSLATION: gay, for women) but the Pantech GI100 boasts an amazing sci-fi innovation -- fingerprint recognition.

Pantech GI 100

Now, instead of just *using* your phone, you can go through an elaborate process of first having to unlock it with your figerprint, just like you're Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible!

THE SPECS OF THIS STUPID THING:
Uses ALL TEN FINGERS! -- "A small fingerprint recognition sensor on the phone authenticates the phone owner, as well as dialing up to 10 numbers by recognizing the owner's 10 different fingerprints."

AND...


· Fingerprint Recognition
· Fingerprint Authentication
· Fingerprint Secret Dialing
· Fingerprint Games embedded
· 1.3 Mega pixel camera
· Built-in flash
· Motion JPEG technology for video recording
· Video Caller ID

AND THE FINAL BOMBSHELL:
"Unique and sophisticated rectangular outlines portray a successful, urbane, and sophisticated businessman/businesswoman"

GAY PHONE.

Padded pants for men

We avoid needing these by having A MASSIVE AND VERY WIDE PENIS already.

padded pants

Men’s Briefs Borrow Old Trick From Wonderbra - Newsweek: The Tip Sheet - MSNBC.com

Motorola E895 -- Linux and EDGE downloads

Motorola continues to target the geek market by using Linux. Not that you can tell when all you use it for is texting to say you're on a train and might be a bit later than usual.

Motorola e895

THE SPECS:
GSM Triband 900 / 1800 / 1900
Linux
Lithium-Ion 1000 mAh
Dimensions: 51 x 93 x 23 mm
Weight: 127 grams

Display: 262,000 colors, QVGA (320x240)
Internal Memory: 10MB
1.3 Megapixel w/flash camera
GPRS, EDGE, Bluetooth, Infrared, Java, MMS, SMS, Mini-USB, WAP
Video Recording

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Glastonbury Blogs and photos

Christ, is there *anyone* at Glastonbury who *isn't* constantly updating a blog/photostream live from the actual event?

Flickr: Photos tagged with glastonbury

Samsung D600 mobile phone, er, VR TV glasses thing

...which will allow Orange subscribers to watch streaming films through their phones later in the year.

No one in the world will buy these

It projects a 60cm screen around two metres in front of your eyes, and is as likely to take off as a seagull that's had its feet nailed to a car.

Friday, June 24, 2005

PERSONAL ESCAPE PODS

Good old The Russians. They've invented something to sell to stupid Americans for a huge amount of money, and something that clearly won't ever work, too.

"In an emergency, someone wishing to leave in a hurry would strap on the backpack and jump, pulling a ring as he did so. The pod would inflate, surround him instantly and bear him gently to the ground."

Fire escape pod

It's a "burning building escape pod" from the Lavochkin Association. It's sort of a rubber ball that inflates around you, probably killing you in the process.

More here: Safety | Burning ambitions | Economist.com

Pure BUG -- DAB digital radio with seven day EPG

Oh yeah, radio still exists! We used to like radio! It was how we got music for free before the internet!

Now it's gone digital so they can charge you more money for it, with radios now costing as much as second-hand cars because they apparently sound a bit better if you really pay attention.

Anyway, this is the Pure BUG, a device that records programming via an electronic programming guide to an SD card -- so you need never miss The [INSERT NAME OF DJ YOUTHS LISTEN TO HERE] Show again.

Pure BUG EPG digital radio

It has an on-screen guide that pops up the EPG info available on any stations that are broadcasting guides. It's also £130. £130! For a RADIO! That's madness. Available at Pure's shop.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Japan launching "robot invasion of Moon"

"Japan wants to help build a lunar base and populate it with advanced versions of today's humanoid robots by around 2025"

PCWorld.com - Japan Dreams of Robot Moon Base in 2025

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

CommunicAsia 2005 -- JAPANESE WOMEN HOLDING THINGS GALORE!

Slashphone, the place we steal all those Japanese/Korean thing-holding-woman photos from, has upped a monster gallery of women holding things. Mobile phones, mostly. It's an amazing archive.

This is our favourite, because between them they're holding an amazing FOUR things. That's dedication and impressive manual dexterity for models who usually only hold cigarettes and cocks:

communicasia 2005

Slashphone.com - ShowGirl at CommunicAsia 2005 - mobile phone reviews, news, rumors, mobile community and more...

"Deluxe Emperor Palpatine Adult Costume"

Imagine wearing this when you claim your next victim! She'll be TERRIFIED!!

Deluxe Emperor Palpatine Adult Costume

StarWarsShop.com ��-��Deluxe Emperor Palpatine Adult Costume

*JINGLE* Weird sex thing of the weeeeek!

Pregnant animals. The author may well protest it isn't about sex, but it so obviously is. He's called "Simon" which is a man's name, and if a man's involved it's about sex.

Pregnant dog sex SHAME

Simon's photo archive of pregnant animals

*ROBOT THREAT UPDATE* -- so-called "toy" Roboraptor could "take out an eye"

"If you ignore him long enough he’ll get bored and switch himself over to free roaming anyway and go off looking for some baby birds to torment"

roboraptor

The New Zealand Herald

Monday, June 20, 2005

*ROBOT THREAT UPDATE* Robot goes on "Rampage"

"A robotic nurse threw off its shackles and went on the rampage"

Robot runs riot at California hospital | The Register

NHJ VTV-201 wrist TV

Now you'll never miss the LIFE-CRUSHING BANALITY of today's modern TV programming, thanks to Japanese tech company NHJ and its wrist TV.

NHJ VTV-201 wrist TV

It's "a bit of fun" for £130, says The Register.

NHJ VTV-201 wrist TV | The Register.

*German* Borg cosplayers

This is the internet find of a LIFETIME.

You will be... LAUGHED AT BY THE WHOLE INTERNET

"Messy suicide" is no doubt the reason for the lack of recent updates.

borg unicomplex

Friday, June 17, 2005

A complete archive of Mac commercials

This might help you get through Saturday morning without hitting the bottle.

Some Cool QuickTime Movies

Christmas -- getting earlier each year

And here's proof:

StarWarsShop.com - Fabriche Santa R2-D2

June 17 -- an amazing new world record for starting to sell Christmas items.

"High-Tech Robot Skin" will make robots INDISTINGUISHABLE from humans

We need to get a dog.

"The ballerina gracefully dances on a small stage. She is followed not by a male partner, but by a robotic arm manipulator that seems to sense her every move."

NASA - High-Tech Robot Skin

Samsung's 7 megapixel camera phone IN DEPTH

It's a phone that looks more like a camera than a phone. You can "put lenses" on it too. It should be exciting, but it isn't.



We're starting to lose enthusiasm for "doing a tech blog". This feels too much like proper work now.

gizmag Article: Samsung shows 7 megapixel camera phone outside Korea

Twentieth Century Fox also flogs old rope in PSP format

"The first group of Fox films to arrive on UMD includes I, Robot, Alien Vs Predator, Dodgeball, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and classic sci-fi thriller Alien."

NO. STOP IT. WE ARE BORED OF RE-BUYING THINGS WE'RE ALREADY BORED OF. THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A REALLY BAD IDEA. NO ONE WILL BUY THESE RUBBISH OLD FILMS.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

PSP -- GAMES YOU'VE PLAYED BEFORE, AND NOW FILMS YOU'VE SEEN BEFORE TOO!

Boooooring news!

Sony Europe has announced what films it's launching alongside PSP this September -- and they're all SHITE and OLD!

Now you can watch Ghostbusters from 1984 on your PSP, or A Knight's Tale, or Bad Boys, or the WORST FILM OF 2004 AND POSSIBLY EVER Resident Evil Apocalypse.

THEY SEEM TO BE PROUD OF THIS FACT:
"Sony Pictures Home Entertainment (SPHE) is to release 19 UMDTMVideo (Universal Media DiscTM Video) film titles on 1 September 2005, the same date as the PSPTM (PlayStation®Portable) handheld entertainment system launches in the UK. The films will include new release title xXx: The Next Level as well as diverse catalogue titles including Ghostbusters, SWAT and Bad Boys."

FULL LIST OF UTTER TEDIUM:
13 Going on 30
Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid
Bad Boys
Charlie's Angels
Daddy Day Care
Ghostbusters
Hellboy
Hitch
Hollowman
A Knight's Tale
Once Upon a Time In Mexico
The One
The Punisher
Resident Evil: Apocalypse
Spider-Man Animated
SWAT
xXx
xXx: The Next Level
You Got Served
Plus: Spider-Man 2 – (NOT available to purchase as available free of charge to early purchasers via http://www.yourpsp.com)

Sony is TOO ASHAMED to confirm how much these rubbish old films are going to cost on PSP UMD format, but it's almost certian to be something stupidly high like 20 or 25 pounds.

Sony Ericsson and Napster team up to fight EVIL NOKIA

The press release doesn't actually say anything about CRUSHING NOKIA LIKE AN ANT, but we think that's the general idea.

It's Napster on mobiles, basically.

Napster and Ericsson to put music in mobiles - Business - International Herald Tribune

*ROBOT THREAT UPDATE* -- THE INVASION HAS BEGUN

CAN ANYONE TRANSLATE THIS PAGE? IT'S VERY IMPORTANT. PLEASE GET IN TOUCH, IT'S ABOUT ROBOTS TAKING OVER THE WORLD.

THANKS.

LAUNCH THE INVASION OF EARTH

Mad scientists invent "Grapple" -- the grape flavour apple

Isn't this sort of thing against the law? The law of GOD?

HOW THEY MAKE GRAPPLE:
"This process is complex and the ingredient mix includes concentrated Concord grape flavor and pure water. All ingredients are USDA and FDA approved and the process has been licensed by the Washington State Department of Agriculture."

It's worse than it sounds! They INJECT grape flavour into normal apples!

Grapple?

Yummy! Juicy and ripe and tasty! (we mean the apple, not the girl).

The Grāpple "say Grape- L" - Looks like an apple, tastes like a grape!

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Concorde II

On the way, via the French and the Japanese.

"Japan had successfully tested an engine that could theoretically reach speeds of up to five times the speed of sound."

BBC NEWS | Business | 'Son of Concorde' plans unveiled

PSP swaptrick hack

We stopped being able to understand it at point 7.

"IT DOESN'T WORK!" and other comments about it here: PSP Hacks - Hacks, Mods, Cracks, Utilities, Homebrew. » PSP Swaploit (PSP Launcher) Homebrew on 1.50! Hack Sony Play Station Portable

Is a huge chunk of America about to sink into the sea?

This could DEVASTATE the iPod accessory industry!

US Earthquake activity map

Map for N_America

2015 -- DESTINATION: "THE MOON"!

Our hearts say we'll win the "Text Lottery" competition to head-up NASA's next Moon mission, but our heads say we'll probably be watching it on our own in a small bedsit.

NOTE TO FUTURE SELF:
Don't be too drunk to remember it.

NASA sees earliest manned moon landing in 2015 - Yahoo! News

Holographic Television

Yeah, right. We'll believe it when we can pay four grand for it.

The Holographic Television - Popular Science

"Every" video game -- playable online

By "every" they mean "over 2000" and by "playable online" they mean "sort of playable in Java if your PC and browser decide they want to work properly... oh, and you have to use a PC keyboard".

Still, it's a nice diversion, right up until everything crashes.

Every Video Game » Play Nintendo and Sega Online

Japanese woman holding a thing! RARE! DARTH VADER INCLUDED!

(a) Cute Asian girls. (b) Darth Vader. (c) Some sort of electrical thing, probably a phone with a gazilli-pixel camera.

GRAHHH! Fluff in the USB vent! FOILED AGAIN!

It's all we could ever ask for in a photograph.

What the hell is a "Screencast"?

Is it *really* as boring as someone broadcasting what they're clicking on on their screen?

Myscreencast.com - Find and share screencasts :: View Forum - Screencasts

Has anyone got a link to the other internet that's got all the interesting stuff on?

*ROBOT THREAT UPDATE* -- "Robot bombers" on way

WORRYING ROBOT DEVELOPMENTS:

"a new generation of experimental robot bombers"

NOW THEY HAVE BOMBS!!!!! :(

L.A. Daily News - Antelope Valley

The iPod clock radio

Yes, just what the world needs, another "thing" in white to connect to your iPod.

When did gadgety things get so dull?

iPod alarm

iHome - Coming soon...

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Sunset -- ON MARS!

Stick ebooks on your iPod

We can't even be bothered to read this all the way through, but it looks like it might be kind of useful to at least part of our target reader demographic.

MAKE: Blog: MAKE ebooks for your iPod guide!

Sony Ericsson K608 -- 3G POWERHOUSE

The latest in the quite lovely K600 range is fully capable of all that 3G nonsense you NEVER EVER USE, but like to have to impress people with.

The K608 looks cool and has a decent-ish 1.2megapixel camera. It'd do, even not for free. This has gone into the top three of out list of Possible Next New Phones.

Sony Ericsson K608

IT CAN DO ALL THIS:

Imaging and messaging


* QuickShare™
* 1.3 MegaPixel camera
* Digital Still Camera user interface
* 176 x 220 pixel TFT display
* 262K colour display
* Video recording and fullscreen playback
* SMS and MMS
* Wireless village
* Adobe picture PC software
* VideoDJ™
* Photo light
* 4X Digital zoom
* Macromedia Flash Lite™ (trademark of Macromedia)

Entertainment

* Video Call
* FM radio
* Media player (MP3/AAC)
* 32MB User Memory
* MusicDJ™
* PlayNow™
* Pre-loaded games
* 72 polyphonic ringtones
* Java™ MIDP 2.0

Connectivity

* Sync ML.
* Infrared port
* USB support
* PC synchronization
* Bluetooth

Sony Ericsson supports growing 3G UMTS services with new K608 - K608 is the sleek, lightweight 3G phone for fast, content-rich downloads, 13 June 2005 - Sony Ericsson Mobile Communications: About Us - Press Room - Press release - Sony Ericsson

SETI@home for Xbox 360 and PS3?

This is the sort of boring, geeky story we get really excited about :(

Wired News: How Gamers Can Help Cure Cancer

Sony Ericsson J210 -- cheap, boring

You know when "personal calendar" and "alarm clock" are listed as features in the press release that this definitely isn't going to be your next new mobile phone.

Sony Ericsson J210

The press release says that "using the phone in a variety of situations is made effortless" which is as blatant an example of padding you'll ever see.

EMBARRASSINGLY LIGHT SPEC LIST:

Imaging and messaging
128 x 128 pixels STN display
65,536 colours
~600KB user memory
MMS, SMS, EMS
Wallpapers
Themes
Picture phonebook

Entertainment
Polyphonic ringtones, 32 voices
Direct links for easy download
Embedded games (Casino Wheel, Black Deal and Deep Abyss)
OMA DRM phase 1
Easy-to-use calendar

Connectivity
Triple-band 900/1800/1900
GPRS (4+1)
IrDA (wallpapers, ringtones)
WAP 1.2.1
AMR

Sony Ericsson’s effortlessly practical J210 extends entry-level range, 13 June 2005 - Sony Ericsson Mobile Communications: About Us - Press Room - Press release - Sony Ericsson

Sony Ericsson Z520 -- "cool curves" for the "fashion conscious"

It's the trendy one for the women and the gays!

HOW GAY IS THIS PHONE?
"The Z520’s high-tech features are wrapped inside the smooth sleek body of an elegant clamshell" -- PLUS ONE GAY POINT

"a small and inviting handset that fits in the hand as easily as it does in the pocket or bag." -- PLUS TWO GAY POINTS

"The new Z520 is specifically designed for the stylish younger generation, particularly young women, who want to carry an attractive accessory just as much as a mobile communications device" -- PLUS ONE GAY POINT

"An ingenious light effect, which uses blue lights built into the phone’s perimeter, lets you know who’s calling by flashing one of the eight light patterns, which are paired with melodies" -- PLUS ONE GAY POINT


"The built-in game, “New York Nights” from Gameloft is an entertaining way to discover the fun of city life. Players can find out how they would fare if they arrived in New York with just a few dollars in their pocket." -- PLUS TEN SEX AND THE CITY POINTS

THE GAY PHONE:

Sony Ericsson Z520

Z520 SPECS POUR HOMME:

Imaging and messaging
QuickShare™
VGA camera
4 x digital zoom
1.8” 128 x 160 pixel, 65k colour, TFT main display
1” 101 x 80 pixel, 4k colour, STN sub-display
Video recording
Email, SMS and MMS
Wireless village
Internet browser
8x Caller ID associated Light Effects

Entertainment
Speakerphone
Music Tones
PlayNow™
MusicDJ™ and VideoDJ™
Media player (MP3/AAC)
MPEG4, 3GPP
3D games
Java applications (games)
Video playback and streaming
OMA DRM phase 1
40 polyphonic ringtones
16MB memory

Connectivity
Quad-band 850/900/1800/1900 MHz
USB
PC synchronisation
Bluetooth™ and Infrared
SyncML

FULLY GAY PRESS RELEASE: Sony Ericsson Z520 – cool curves in a smooth shell. A compact quad-band phone for the fashion conscious , 13 June 2005 - Sony Ericsson Mobile Communications: About Us - Press Room - Press release - Sony Ericsson

Sony Ericsson S600 -- "ready to party"

Sony Ericsson has "struck back" by revealing FOUR new handsets of its own to combat the RISING NOKIA MENACE. First up the Sony Ericsson S600, being pitched as a loud, entertainment phone that makes lots of noises on the train.

According to The Man: ”The Sony Ericsson S600 offers a maxed out feature set to satisfy the daring fun-seekers,” says Jan Wäreby, Corporate Executive, Vice President and Head of Sales and Marketing of Sony Ericsson -- and if anyone should know what the kids of today wants, it's a corporate executive and vice president of sales and marketing for a major corporation!

Sony Ericsson S600

MORE PR NONSENSE:
"The S600 offers multiple ways of communication for maximum creativity to share messages, pictures and information."

"Gigs, movie schedules, search engines and webmail can easily be checked with the internet browser"

"For the first time games can be played with the screen horizontal, enhancing the widescreen detail and excitement of games and giving a console gaming experience."

"Stereo sound can be enjoyed through the headset packaged with the phone or with friends through the phone’s powerful stereo speakers with MegaBass™ and Stereo Widening™"

A LIST OF SPECS THAT'S REALLY EASY TO COPY & PASTE:
* QuickShare™
* 1.3 MegaPixel camera
* Horizontal camera user interface
* 4 x digital zoom
* Picture light
* 176 x 220 pixel TFT display
* 262K colour display
* Video recording and fullscreen playback
* SMS and MMS
* Wireless village
* Adobe picture PC software

Entertainment
* 2 stereo speakers
* Style-Up™ covers
* PlayNow™ ringtones and 2D games
* Horizontal fullscreen games and video
* RDS FM radio
* Media player (MP3/AAC)
* 64MB user memory
* Stereo headset
* 40 polyphonic ringtones
* Java MIDP 2.0
* 3D games
* MusicDJ™ and VideoDJ™
* OMA DRM phase 1
* MegaBass™
* Stereo widening

Connectivity

* Triple-band 900/1800/1900 MHz
* GPRS class 10
* Access NetFront HTML browser
* Bluetooth™ and Infrared
* PC software
* External antenna connector
* USB system connector and cable


For the FULL HORROR, read here: Sony Ericsson S600 super play phone -The swivel phone that’s ready to party, 13 June 2005 - Sony Ericsson Mobile Communications: About Us - Press Room - Press release - Sony Ericsson

Monday, June 13, 2005

PSP GTA -- Liberty City Stories revealed!

Holy crap. Some youth with a digital camera has taken photos of the new Grand Theft Auto -- Liberty City Stories -- for Sony's PSP, as featured exclusively in this month's UK Official PlayStation2 Magazine.

In short: It's fully 3D, a "proper" and "new" GTA for PSP, set three years before the events of GTA III, and, well, it looks staggeringly great for a handheld GTA.

PSP GTA!

Yes, PSP GTA!!

More here, until they get made to take them down: PSP GTA scans

BORED OF NOKIA NOW

Nokia also announced three more mobile phones today alone:

Nokia 6265: 2 megapixel, MP3, FM radio, horizontal camera mode.

Nokia 2255: Entry-level clamshell, FM radio.

Nokia 2125: Even less flash entry-level cell phone with, er, "voice recording, calculator, calendar, alarm clock, and an extensive phonebook supporting multiple entries".

Go here for all the specs and stuff. We've had enough Nokia to last us at least a week. Nokia - Press Release - Press - About Nokia

Nokia 6111 -- Kind of small and for women/gays

The 6111 is for "those who seek sophistication in small size", which means it's the gay little one for women and men who work in the media.

"The soft slide mechanism of the Nokia 6111 smoothly reveals its keypad" says the press release, seductively, before telling us that "pictures can be conveniently shared via MMS, Bluetooth or email" -- meaning pictures of kittens or shoes they're thinking of buying.

Nokia 6111

NOKIA 6111 SPECS DISTILLED TO A MANLY LIST FOR MEN:
1 megapixel camera with flash
6x digital zoom
128x160 screen
"Push to talk" group messaging
Bluetooth

Nokia 6111 -- more official photos

Nokia 6060 -- cheap dualband clamshell

Arriving with a sort of whimpering sound instead of the usual NOKIA FANFARE, the Nokia 6060 is "for basic voice communications". Wow!!!

About the best feature Nokia can think of to highlight is that the 6060 has A LIGHT ON IT that lights up when U GT A TXT.

This WILL NOT be our next phone:

Nokia 6060

NOKIA 6060 FROM THE MAKER'S MOUTH:
"The Nokia 6060 offers consumers all they need for basic voice communications. Featuring an attractive fold concept, the Nokia 6060 shows that beautiful design is not confined to high-end devices. A pulsating light allows owners to check on the status of the phone and adds a contemporary note to the appearance of the Nokia 6060."

Nokia 6600 Press Photos

Nokia 6270 -- Angular MP3 playing email phone

A slightly more cubist take on the 6280, the Nokia 6270 is "quad band", plays MP3s, has a 2 megapixel camera and is aiming for the aspirational business user with its in-built email client.

NOKIA 6270 OFFICIAL BUSINESS:
"The versatile Nokia 6270 slide phone features a 2-megapixel camera with flash and landscape mode. With a modern and refined design, the Nokia 6270 merges st