Nokia 1112 is a bit... 'emerging market'

New insult launched! Anything a bit shit is hereby declared "emerging market". Like, "for India". Like, the Nokia 1112.



It's a shit numbered phone for "emerging markets" like India. Poor India. They get phones like ones we'd buy to give to a child, knowing full well they'll lose it or break it inside a week.

INSULTS WE'VE CREATED SO FAR:

"Pay as you go"

"Entry level"

"Emerging market"

"Mac-loving student DJ fuck fuckbag"

Nokia 2610, Nokia 2310 and Nokia 1112 unveiled at Nokia Experience Mobility 2006 event in Chongqing, China

Chongqing, China - In Chongqing, a city in the heart of China, Nokia reinforced its commitment and strategy to bringing the benefits of mobility to consumers in new growth markets. During the event, Nokia introduced three new mobile phones targeted at first time users in these markets. The Nokia 1112, Nokia 2310 and Nokia 2610 expand Nokia's portfolio of easy-to-use, reliable and affordable mobile phones. All three models are expected to begin shipping during the second quarter of 2006.

"For an increasing number of people in new growth markets like China, the mobile phone has quickly become an integral part of life - and the number of new mobile phone owners keeps growing," said Soren Petersen, Senior Vice President, Mobile Phones, Nokia. "In 2008, Nokia expects that 3 billion people will be owning a mobile phone, with much of this growth coming from markets like China, India, South-East Asia and Africa, where penetration levels are still relatively low."

"One of the most important keys to success in these markets is to offer attractive, reliable and easy-to-use mobile phones that are specifically designed to meet the unique needs of consumers in new growth markets," adds Petersen. "Each of the three models introduced today adheres to this core philosophy - offering iconic designs, a well-balanced range of features and even special finishes like rubberized paint to combat dust and improve grip."

Another important contributor to Nokia's success in new growth markets has been the company's close work with operators and regulators to lower the total cost of mobile phone ownership for consumers.

"The right mix of phones combined with optimized network solutions, offers the benefits of mobility for a greater number of consumers - and profitable business model for operators," adds Petersen. "An example of striking this balance, the Nokia 1100 family of affordable phones has sold over 100 million units globally, since its introduction."

The Nokia 1112
Placing special emphasis on ease-of-use, the Nokia 1112 has a user interface that makes use of graphical icons and large font sizes to make user navigation simple for first-time mobile phone users. Timekeeping is made convenient with the Speaking Clock and Alarm, which announces the time in a range of local languages. In addition to the high contrast white backlit display, the Nokia 1112 also has distinctive polyphonic ring tones with MP3-grade sounds.

First time mobile phone users will appreciate the demo mode, an on-screen visual guide of primary phone functions. Additionally, the demo mode allows consumers to play the pre-installed games or hear the Speaking Clock without a SIM card inserted into the phone.

Weighing 80 grams, the Nokia 1112 has a talk time of up to over 5 hours and a standby time of up to 15 days. The Nokia 1112 is available in a range of colors and is expected to retail for an estimated price of 45euros, before subsidies or taxes. The model is expected to be commercially available in the second quarter 2006. It will be available in all regions, except China.

Make your PSP huge

You might as well. It's not like there are any games worth buying for it, and if it's in a massive, ugly stand you'll be able to find it again this time next year when Lumines 2 comes out.



PSP used to be the coolest thing. Now it's a joke! The joke is being made worse by the Gamexpert Portable Theatre, which "transforms the handheld PSP into a portable mini Home Cinema system, enabling the user to listen to music, movies and games with hi-fi quality sound".

How to use an ultra-mobile PC

This just in, from Intel's web site:

Connecting while walking around London
Kate goes online to see the news while preparing breakfast in the kitchen. She downloads an episode of Sesame Street and then plays it in the car for her kids on their way to school. In the afternoon, she goes shopping, uses GPS to find Bond Street, and gets a message announcing the hot sales of the day. She quickly IMs her friend Pam to share this information and while she waits for her at a café, she catches up with her email.



Entertainment on Santa Barbara beaches
Brad, Maria and Inez are ready for their exciting weekend in Santa Barbara. They packed sodas, snacks and the latest award-winning movie to watch on the road. They also packed their surfboards and 1,000 songs for a perfect day on the beach. They downloaded their favorite video games so they could continue the match they started two weeks ago. The three friends are ready for a fun digital weekend under the sun.

Productivity while waiting in the lobby
Tony anticipates that he’ll be waiting for at least a few hours, mostly standing in line and maybe an open seat if he’s lucky. He’s not worried. He’ll be able to send a few emails, view presentations, listen to a webcast, and even work on some ideas for his sales pitch. Now that’s one productive day.

Accessing learning tools on a school field trip near Hong Kong
The kids are excited—today they’re on a field trip to the ocean! They make electronic notes of their observations, take digital photos and post them on Yahoo.com, do research on the Internet to find data related to their assignment, and then put together a presentation for their classmates. A fun-filled day of learning while harnessing technology to its fullest extent.

FACT:
We didn't make any of that up :(

We will survive the apocalypse...

...thanks to the Soldius1 Universal Solar Charger!



Now we can listen to all those CDs we laboriously ripped but still don't really like, even after the power supply has gone down because of all the rioting immigrants.



Actually, Soldius, our lifestyle takes us from the room with the computer in to the room with the laptop and bed in. We're never more than a bend and stretch away from a plug socket.

Samsung announces new "360" high-definition television

Samsung Electronics Group today revealed the LE18R360, the first 360-degree 'HD Ready' display screen.



The new 360 technology gives you the 360-est lifestyle brand yet, ideal for those who 360 their 360-brand names to the 360-est degree.

Sony's still making mini disc players from new!

This is like that time we had a web site that wouldn't stop talking about Sega hardware nobody was interested in.



The best news is it uses Sony's new "ATRAC" encoding format, which is sure to take over from MP3 as the world's most popular shared music system (Copyright 1999).

SONY BRINGS STUDIO SOUND TO NEW Hi-MD WALKMAN, Mar 23, 2006

“Hi-MD is light years ahead of alternative formatting technologies such as HDD and Flash, making the MZ-RH1 the clear choice for professionals and music fans alike” – Yoshiaki Kadokura (Vice President, Personal Audio Europe, Sony)

Berlin, 23rd March 2006 - Taking playback sound quality to another level, Sony today announced the latest addition to its family of Hi-MD™ Walkman® digital music players. The sleek and slimline MZ-RH1 builds on the success of its predecessor. Listeners can now enjoy unsurpassable CD-quality sound whether they are playing back music recorded at a live music concert or selecting from their personal music library.

The MZ-RH1 is a digital audio player that can play files downloaded in LinearPCM, ATRAC (ATRAC, ATRAC3, ATRAC3plus) or MP3 format, or which have been recorded onto the device from a live music session. Sony has improved the recording experience with several enhancements. Users can adjust the mode to reflect what they are recording, which could be a live event, their own ‘jam’ session, or even a business meeting - creating crystal clear playback sound. The MZ-RH1 also features different listening modes to complement musical genres and create the right acoustic atmosphere, including “Club”, “Jazz” and “Pop”.

The competitive price belies the MZ-RH1’s professional capabilities. The iconic Sony design with the spectrum analyser display encases a pocket size recording studio. Usability for professionals has also improved, moving the buttons to enable easy operation, and building in a backlight function so that the product can be used in a dark recording studio. Sony has the advantage on the market for studio quality sound thanks to its Hi-MD next-generation formatting technology. Harnessing over 14 years of research and development, Hi-MD evolved Sony’s popular MiniDisc into a multi-purpose medium for storing audio, text and image data. Hi-MD uses the uncompressed LinearPCM format so music can be recorded and played back with the same sound quality as the original source. The MZ-RH1 will be available from May 2006 across Europe.

Key product features include:

* The device is also now offered with Mac compatibility, bringing greater choice in digital audio devices to Mac users. The Mac application can be downloaded from the MZ-RH1 page on the Sony websites and support website: http://www.sonydigital-link.com, from summer 2006
* Users can now revive their old mini disc libraries as digital music by uploading music to the PC
* Ultra slim and compact body – measures just 14.7mm
* Supplied with high power headphones offering treble and bass sound, and a remote control for easy listening and playback
* Rechargeable battery offers a battery life of 19 hours
* Removable media format offers unlimited storage capacity - one 1GB mini-disc can hold up to 45 hours of music
* Dynamic normalizer automatically uniformises the sound volume of each recorded track to a listenable level
* High capacity coupling condenser allows an authentic reproduction of bass
* PC data storage (Windows/Mac)
* HD digital amplifier
* Hi-Speed USB (compatible with USB2.0 specification)

Mental typewriter = CERTAIN JAIL

We really don't need the stuff we think popping up on a nearby computer screen.



"You want to kill who? With what?"

IT DOESN'T REALLY WORK LIKE THAT, BUT NEVER LET THE FACTS GET IN THE WAY OF A RUBBISH BLOG UPDATE:
New Scientist - 'Mental typewriter' controlled by thought alone

Never be lonely, with ROBOFRIEND

Home robotics development took another huge leap forward today, with Samsung Electronics Group revealing ROBOFRIEND at the 2006 Future Living show in Seoul, South Korea.



Ideal for snuggling up to on cold nights, ROBOFRIEND comes pre-loaded with 16 reassuring phrases, such as "You're really nice", "We're best friends" and the ever-popular "Yes, we will be together until the end of time and even if we die".

An ideal gift for that woman you've been stalking over the internet

This is great! It combines how much you love her even though you've never met her (the heart) with the thing that brought you together in the first place (a computer).



We've ordered 144 for various random female MSN stalking victims of ours.

Nokia hangs around in parks taking photos of children

We're just saying. It's based on photographic evidence found on its own web site so must be true. The seedy Nokia photographer has been spotted by her mum, but still doesn't care.



Nothing proper has happened or been announced today.

Sony's Bravia X, V and S series LCD TVs

Here's an ACTUAL FACT about our every day life - the Idiot Toys household television has broken. Evenings are now spent entirely (a) on the internet or (b) playing Animal Crossing on Nintendo DS, with occasional five minute breaks for (c) wanking, (d) eating toast and (e) trying not to start crying again.

New LCD televisions are too complicated, too expensive and no one seems able to say which one is best. Now Sony has made three more Bravia LCD TVs for us to look at the specs of, get confused, then decide to spend another month wanking on the internet all evening instead.



This is the Bravia S-series. It looks all right, and we'd probably buy one if it wasn't over a grand. It does 1080i and 720p, which we've recently learned is quite good but not exactly "future proofed".




This is the Bravia V-series. It's got a digital tuner in it. And comes with a stand. We're not trying to be cynical on purpose, it's just quite possibly the most boring thing we've ever seen.




The Bravia X-series does what Sony is calling "Full HD" in an attempt to make 1080p sound like something it's invented itself. It does a maximum resolution of 1920x1080, which is nice but of NO USE to us right now - or, probably, for the next ten years seeing as Sky's HD programming won't be using 1080p and PlayStation3 seems to be deciding it's a bad idea too.

THE SUMMARY:
They all look really boring, cost loads, and won't look good because we haven't got HDTV in the UK yet. Why is everyone spending so much money on LCD TVs when you can't even use them properly yet? It's MADNESS. We're therefore giving these televisions ZERO OUT OF TEN for being expensive, pointless pieces of dull black plastic.

The Sony Ericsson W300, complete with lifestyle photography

It's another Walkman phone, this time with a little screen on the front so you can see which 50 Cent track you're currently listening to.



He's fascinated by its little display! Probably because he can see his reflection in it and is thinking how he should be in The OC, or at least One Tree Hill.




And there it is. It's amazing how being LOCKED DOWN in an 18-month contract removes all your interest in new phones. By the time we're next allowed an upgrade that piece of shit will be given away free in BP garages whenever you buy a Twix. Next!

THE SPECS:

Imaging & Messaging

* 128x160 pixels TFT main display with 262k color
* 101x80 pixels Monochrome sub display
* VGA Camera
* 4x digital zoom
* Video recording/playback
* 20MB internal memory
* SMS, EMS and MMS
* Email (POP3/IMAP4)
* Standard Push Email
* Wireless village support
* Picture phonebook

Entertainment

* Media Player (MP3 and AAC support)
* Polyphonic 40 voices
* Direct Music Keys
* Flight Mode
* Integrated FM radio with RDS
* Streaming Audio/Video
* PlayNow(tm) Ring tones
* PlayNow(tm) Games
* Java MIDP 2.0
* 3D games
* MusicDJ(tm) and VideoDJ(tm)
* Macromedia Flash support
* OMA DRM phase 1
* Sony Mega Bass
* Open clam sound
* Media player info in external LCD

Connectivity

* USB 2.0 through Fast port
* USB Mass Storage support
* EDGE 850/900/1800/1900
* EDGE Class 10
* WAP 2.0
* Bluetooth(tm)
* Infrared
* Kit Content:
- 256 MB Memory Stick Micro(tm) (M2(tm))

-Walkman(r) stereo headset
- USB cable

* Talk time: up to 9.5 hours
* Standby time: up to 400 hours
* Size: 90 x 47 x 24 mm
* Weight: 94 grams

Robot 'more successful' with women

He was only invented a year ago, and already women are queueing up to touch his face and whisper in his ear:



Stupid cute robot face :(

It's another one of those Japanese healthcare bots that's never going to come to anything. Japan should spend its money on going into space instead of building rubbish robots to look after old people.