Robot stud steals three more human women :(

The robot invasion has started. Instead of an all-out war, the robots are attempting to eliminate mankind by stealing all of our women so there are none left for us to have sex with, therefore making us all die out.

The robots do this by bringing women food, which makes the women happy and love their new robot boyfriends.





Another trick in the robot seduction armoury is being a "good listener". The clever robots simply put themselves into 'standby mode' when a woman starts talking about themselves and their problems. This makes the robot appear more sympathetic than the easily bored human male, as it can subsequently stand listening to hour upon hour of stories to do with work colleagues, clothes, how the job is going, what new table to buy and whatever else.

Our days are numbered.

We're not sure if the Nokia N73 is new or not

It's been ages since we did a proper update about something that's new. It looks familiar, but then so does everything when you get to our age.



No, it must be old because the press release says something about Flickr support, and we remember mentioning that before and being told it was wrong or rubbish. Still, we've written it and resized the image now so may as well press 'upload' and hope no one notices.

God, it's boring having to do a blog when it's sunny out and all you really want to bother thinking about is doing stuff with girls in parks.

Fake robot shame revealed

Honda executives were left embarrased yesterday, after revealing photos of its 'Asimo' robot project appeared to show a man beneath the 'robot' costume.

This photo of the 'robot' was taken backstage as the Robotics World Fair 2006/7 Expo in Hong Kong, and clearly shows the so-called robot is in fact wholly operated by a human man.



Experts agree this photo does indeed show a man. The trick technique, long favoured in the Japanese 'Godzilla' movie series, involves a lengthy prosthetic application process and is intended to fool the viewer into believing they are seeing a large automaton.

The true depth of the 'robot' conspiracy has yet to be revealed.

Samsung sets new handshake world best

Tangjeong, Korea - July 18, 2006: Lee Wan Koo, Kang Hee-bok, Chang Wonkie and Hitomi Masatoshi simultaneously shook hands and exchanged four separate documents at once, setting a new world best.



A brief period of confusion over which hand belonged to who was soon overcome, and the joyful, warm handshaking continued for nearly 30 minutes after the initial link was formed!

SEPTEMBER 13TH, 1999. MASSIVE NUCLEAR EXPLOSION. MOON TORN OUT OF EARTH ORBIT. HURLED INTO OUTER SPACE

This is a coded message on Alpha Frequency saying that ITV has been showing episodes of Space 1999 on its UK terrestrial HDTV trial. It's also a not-coded message about us spending the hottest weekend of the year inside watching Space 1999 on TV in high definition.

Look, we even took some photos of the screen! It was a fun weekend we'll certainly never forget!







It's the same as the DVD, basically, only you feel a bit smug watching it as it's supposedly in high-definition.

A YOUTUBE LINK TO THE SPACE 1999 SEASON 1 INTRO, WHICH IS THE BEST SCI-FI INTRO EVER AND ONE WHICH YOU HAVE TO WATCH AND HAVE AN OPINION ABOUT IF YOU WANT TO BE OUR FRIEND:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMEZuaguuCU

F.A.O. anyone who considers bootleg mash-ups to be the cutting-edge of popular culture

It's... OH JESUS WE CAN'T BRING OURSELVES TO SAY IT.



It's... an LG mobile phone with a miniature turntable for adding scratching effects to your MP3s. If you think your MP3s need scratching effects over the top, we think what you actually need is 27 separate lobotomies performed with a penknife.

:(

Comes with preloaded mixes.

An email about Polish batteries!

From a man in Poland who's MAD FOR BATTERIES.

Hello,
I am a battery collector (from Poland). I have been collecting for about 10 years.

I have in my collection over 2500 batteries sizes AAA, AA, C, D and 9V. Perhaps you would be interested in trading? What kinds of batteries interest you?

You can visit my website www.mojebaterie.prv.pl where I present my collection (ZDJECIA BATERII TO TRZEBA ZOBACZYC, NOWOSC).

Regards,
Kacper Gucma

KACPER'S COMPLETE HISTORY OF BATTERIES (IN POLISH)
The complete history of batteries (in Polish).

THE DIVINE LORD STRIKES DOWN THE IMPURE!

THE LIGHT THAT CLEANSES DID STRIKE DOWN FROM THE HANDS OF THE LORD AND SO IT DID SMITE DOWN THE STUDENT, AND IT DID SMITE DOWN THE METALLICA LISTENER, AND SO IT WAS THAT THE LAND WAS RETURNED TO A BEAUTIOUS CLEANSED STATE FREE OF THE SINNERS THAT INFECT IT WITH THEIR WAYS AND VICES. AS IT WAS YESTERDAY, SO IT SHALL BE TOMORROW AND IN INCREASING MULTITUDES FOR EVER AFTER. THOSE WHO LISTEN TO THE EVIL DEVICE OF THE VAIN SHALL BE STRUCK DOWN AS IS THE WILL OF THE LORD.

HEED THIS, UNLCEAN MORTALS! FOR IT IS THE SIGN OF THE COMING GREAT CLEANSING OF ALL THAT WILL RETURN THIS LAND TO ITS QUIET GLORY AND CUT DOWN THOSE WHO POISON AND INFECT IT WITH THEIR EVIL VANITIES! BLESSED BE THE LIGHT! THE LIGHT THAT BURNS THE EARS OF THE UNCLEAN! AMEN!

DISCARD YOUR SIN PODS AND BE FREE, LEST YOU BE STRUCK DOWN WITHOUT WARNING ON THE WHIM OF THE DIVINE LORD. ALL WHO LISTEN TO THE EVIL SPEAK OF THE WHITE MACHINE ARE WALKING AS MARKED MEN.

Or... man struck by lightning probably because of his iPod.



Student DJ/web designer population BEWARE. THE HAND OF GOD SHOWS THE WAY AND SMITES DOWN ALL SINNERS.

AND THE LORD SAID:
"The wounds follow the line of his iPod, from his ears down his right side to his hip, where he was carrying the device. The iPod has a hole in the back, and the earbuds dissolved into green threads"

DenverPost.com - Lightning zeros in on teenager's tunes

Robots are having more sex and fun than we are

Their stupid cute faces, will-do attitudes and arms that never get tired during sex are stealing all our women away :(



Look at that cunt in the middle's face! He's loving it! Stupid sex-getting robot fuck :(




At this rate, we'll be a planet of cyborgs as soon as someone at the Asimo development lab manages to engineer fully functioning robotic spunk.

Three killed as woman loses control of mobile phone

The world of thing-holding was in mourning today, after a tragedy at the Tokyo Look Forward 2006 Expo. Mr Ken Yamuchi, Mr Jo Kataku and Mr Tommy Hanada, all senior management figures at Sony Electronics, were killed as a high-scoring hold attempt went badly wrong.



Lucy Gould, pictured seconds before the tragedy. Already clearly out of control, the spectators were left with no chance to escape. Lucy was escorted from the venue in a shaken state, but no charges are expected to be pressed.