Wednesday, January 10, 2007

The iPhone's going to be a nightmare

Nobody likes auto sensors. Things need to be either on or off, or at least controlled by a button.

At least it has a clock. This could be our new pocket clock.

Today's required iPhone update

STOP MAKING THE SCREEN GO DARKER:
  • "An ambient light sensor automatically adjusts the display's brightness to the appropriate level for the current ambient light, thereby enhancing the user experience and saving power at the same time."

  • EASILY DROPPABLE:
  • "iPhone's accelerometer detects when you rotate the device from portrait to landscape, then automatically changes the contents of the display, so you immediately see the entire width of a web page or a photo in its proper landscape aspect ratio."

  • THAT'S MY TUMMY, NOT MY EAR:
  • "The proximity sensor detects when you lift iPhone to your ear and immediately turns off the display to save power and prevent inadvertent touches until iPhone is moved away."

  • Today's required iPhone update

    Poor old Nokia. 20 years of effort destroyed by a jumped-up radio.

    21 Comments:

    Anonymous matt said...

    That glossy screen's shouting 'class action lawsuit' by numpties jamming it into their gritty pockets and poking at it with things other than their fat fingers.

    10:39 AM  
    Blogger nick botulism said...

    not just one clock, but two clocks! looks like a clock app plus the digital clock in the title bar at the top of the screen.

    10:43 AM  
    Blogger Victor Latrine said...

    It's clock-a-licious

    11:05 AM  
    Anonymous GrayV said...

    I'm not going to be stumping up the massive price tag on this "innovative" product - I will just use my phone and call people to ask them what the time is.

    11:13 AM  
    Anonymous iHater said...

    As one who doesn't own a mobile phone, this iPhone is the one to make change my mind about my lack of one.

    Now I'll be one who doesn't own two mobile phones.

    11:26 AM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH:

    - Cisco iPhone

    11:44 AM  
    Anonymous iPhoneDealsNow.com said...

    A combination of idiots and scum are already doing deals on Ebay:

    here.

    11:54 AM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Actually I would buy this, just not for that price.

    12:04 PM  
    Anonymous dave gravy said...

    wow, really looks like a load of old wank.....now a portable trim phone in beige, that would be really cool

    12:35 PM  
    Anonymous Wiggist said...

    What a load of arse. My SonyEricsson M600 is way better. And it's not made by that eejit Steve Jobs & Co.

    1:08 PM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Why the hell did they bother with that button at the bottom? Why not just no buttons?

    1:08 PM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    A button for Stocks. Tossers.

    1:23 PM  
    Blogger jawa said...

    Its a button to press when the phone is in your pocket to make it ring so you can take it out and pretend you arent just showing off your new super-clock. Screen looks good for snorting lines of coke off and it can display porn in landscape and portrait without having to get your spunky fingers on the screen.

    Not bad. If only it had a bottle opener attachment.

    1:41 PM  
    Anonymous UberAnonymous said...

    Is the input device really supposed to be a finger? Can I use other body parts?

    I am so buying this when it comes in brown...

    3:45 PM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Yeah, can't wait for this one! Another reason for jumped little web-design stoodint types to pretend they know something about technology and show off that mummy and daddy bought them a 400 quid phone!

    No doubt it will not be available, at least for the moment, on pay-as-you-go, to stop the riff-raff chav element from buying them. I'm sure Mr Jobs and Apple marketing do not want the image of some rat-boy in a trackie, gobbing onto the pavement, hassling strangers for a fag, while using his new flash Apple mobby!

    6:20 AM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    i-clock ha ha ahaahahhaha haha ha ha

    9:59 AM  
    Blogger tentonipete said...

    what if i want to watch the screen lying down?

    12:41 PM  
    Anonymous GrayV said...

    You'll need to buy my brand new "iPhone* Horizontal View Docking Station**"

    "* made by Apple not Cisco like the first one"

    "** docking station is for you*** not iPhone*, please harness legs to docking station and lie down in vertical position to view auto-landscape video mode"

    "*** comes in 'wirey geek', 'malnourished world of warcraft addict' and 'fat tosser' sizes"

    3:22 PM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    what a load of shit. it's not an open platform, so no 3rd party apps or games. crap. symbian FTW.

    12:44 AM  
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