Wednesday, January 24, 2007

A photocopier

These brave workhorses of offices across the country are criminally underrepresented on the internet and often considered a joke - until you need to photocopy something. Then who's laughing?

The photocopier sits there, the butt of cliched jokes about photocopying private parts and jamming up with paper, yet it is always ready for action. Ready for that one time every two years when you have to send a copy of a form to someone important and official.

Mock the photocopier, would you? You may as well mock your refrigerator, or your washing machine, or any of the other critical devices we rely upon occasionally to enhance our lives and lift us above the level of common, bark-eating savages.

This photocopier is also a fax machine. Faxing may not be quite as widespread today as predicted in 'Back to the Future', but, again, once every few years some ancient organisation such as a solicitor or bank will require a fax, a hard copy of a document, sending over immediately as a matter of extreme importance.

Faxing is not a joke - your house purchase could very well depend on your bank getting a copy of your mortgage agreement that very same day. How would you do that without a photocopier and fax machine? You wouldn't. You'd be living in a doorway hopelessly addicted to crystal meth and dead within a month.

So praise the sturdy photocopier. It will outlast everything, mainly because it's quite a difficult thing to throw away due to its mass.

Samsung CLX-3160FN

Photocopiers also have USB sockets now too. This makes them even better.

28 Comments:

Anonymous GrayV said...

The addition of a USB is a godsend as I can now charge my digital camera whilst making photocopies of my private parts, allowing me to take many more upskirt shots on the bus home.

1:14 PM  
Anonymous JimJams said...

I prefer to take the photocopier with me on the bus home, invite women to sit on it, and then secretly photocopy their bum.

1:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When taking crafty photos of women in public a camera phone is far less suspicious than a digital camera.

I would imagine.

1:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah, that would explain my recent arrest then - I should carry a camera phone around with me rather than a photocopier.

2:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like taking secret photos of photocopiers.

2:34 PM  
Anonymous Photocopier said...

You can laugh, but there's nothing better than having the hot receptionist sitting on your face every Christmas.

Roll on December 21, 2007!

2:57 PM  
Anonymous JimJams said...

What if you put one photocopier upside-down on top of another photocopier and set them to photocopy each other? My head's doing cartwheels trying to work it out. Anyone got a couple of photocopiers they could try it with? Do photocopiers even work upside-down? Do they work in space? And if not then how do astronauts photocopy stuff?

3:07 PM  
Anonymous GrayV said...

I told our receptionist that the photocopier was my face. Merry Christmas!

3:09 PM  
Anonymous I am gravy said...

You'd have more chance photocopying your face and putting it on your secretary's chair. Then running and having a crywank in the toilets while the fat bloke curls out his third shit of the day in the cubicle next to you.



vvfwoe

woe indeed

3:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You can download Tim Hunkin's excellent The Secret Life of the Photocopier here, if you like.

3:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pfft, a Samsung photocopier? What a load of shite. What you need is a Xerox Docutech 6135. The thing is the size of your house and requires constant call-outs to engineers with cotton buds. Did you know they fix copiers with cotton-buds? Well, now you do. Or for the smaller office why not opt for a Canon IR2770, only A4 mind. Pfft, Samsung, tssh...

3:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a face.

4:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope I'm not breaking the Official Secrets Act by saying this, but when I was at BAe they had a photocopier that would copy onto both sides, but best of all, it would put two staples in the spine on the left. Well class it was. Ah, those heady days.

4:19 PM  
Anonymous GrayV said...

I, er, don't have a secretary. :-(

4:59 PM  
Anonymous RAWRTHETIGER said...

would, wow you guys took your time in not saying that, n i use a photocopier to sit on my own face.

5:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I may be alone in this, but nothing beats a good free-hand copy of a document...

Really a free-hand anything.

8:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Given how often copiers jam I ain't sticking aything in that usb hole

mwlrr !

9:47 PM  
Blogger jawa said...

i use photocopiers to photocopy my face and put it on my ass to i can sit on my own face. I give good face.

9:35 AM  
Anonymous Photocopier Repair-man said...

Trying to make photocopiers photocopy each other will void your warranty. I'm sick of you people.

12:05 PM  
Anonymous gravE said...

xerox machines are TWATS

our DC3535 is constantly dying on it's arse

i reckon with a few cardboard boxes and 50 quid to the security guys, you could sneak into the ann summers office xmas party, dressed as a convincing "new" photocopier, and have lots of drunk women and probably gay men sitting their drunk sweaty arses on your face (or "glass")




aeykuha - probably james brown's last words

12:51 PM  
Anonymous A Slightly Concerned Person said...

Gary mate you're losing it

2:28 PM  
Blogger phorenzik said...

Photocopiers come in handy if you are running low on plain paper. Firstly, make sure you save at least one sheet, stick it under the phocopier, and hey presto! as many new blank sheets of paper as you want.

4:44 PM  
Anonymous Viz said...

Can I have my Top Tip back?

5:14 PM  
Blogger jawa said...

Do they cater for gay men at ann summers?

5:56 PM  
Anonymous JimJams said...

They bring in specialist gay caterers.

7:48 PM  
Anonymous yvarg said...

I'm sure because of the sex discrimination act they need to employ at least some men. Straight men would spend all day wanking themselves raw though.

So the pooftahs it has to be.



lembidnu - racist

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折叠式仓储笼
蝴蝶笼
储物笼
南京仓储笼
上海仓储笼
北京仓储笼
广州仓储笼

仓储笼
仓库笼
折叠式仓储笼
蝴蝶笼
储物笼
南京仓储笼
上海仓储笼
北京仓储笼
广州仓储笼
仓储笼
仓库笼
折叠式仓储笼
蝴蝶笼
南京仓储笼
上海仓储笼
北京仓储笼
广州仓储笼

手推车
置物架
挂板架
堆垛车
堆高车
叉车
手动液压托盘搬运车
物料整理架
巧固架
堆垛架
置物架
载物台车
物流台车
登高车
平板手推车
静音手推车
手推车
钢制料箱

钢制料箱
手推车
静音手推车
平板手推车
登高车
物流台车
载物台车
置物架
堆垛架
巧固架
挂板架
物料整理架
手动液压托盘搬运车
叉车
登高车
堆垛车

钢制料箱
手推车
静音手推车
平板手推车