Tuesday, March 20, 2007

T-Mobile Ameo - possible next new phone #1

Was it really 18 months ago we were moaning about being locked in an 18-month Vodafone contract? YES IT WAS! We are free! Fuck you, Vodafone! (unless you give us a better one for free when we say we want to leave, in which case, thank you, Vodafone).

So here starts the search for a replacement.

Usually it takes at least six months to conclude a search for a new phone, as it's fraught with danger, contracts, specification research and stupid men with overly-waxed hair trying to convince you that 3 is a good company to sign up with. So off we go.

T-Mobile Ameo

The PROS of this one is that it's very expensive so not many people will have it, plus it can clearly do the internet properly instead of just displaying the navigation bar and adverts in a window the size of a postage stamp like most current phones, then crashing so badly you have to take the battery out and put the battery more than 20 metres away from the phone and leave it for half an hour before putting it back in.

The CONS are the massive sense of personal loss we will feel when we inevitably wake up hungover, with suspiciously muddy shoes, sore legs, a strange smell of sick coming from somewhere and OH GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO MY PHONE LAST NIGHT? PERHAPS IF I RING IT SOMEONE IN ONE OF THOSE EIGHT PUBS WILL FIND IT AND GIVE IT BACK.

EDIT: ADDITIONAL 'CONS'
  • Serious chance of getting beaten up
  • Serious chance of getting held down and beaten up
  • Serious chance of getting held down and beaten up while passing pedestrians administer additional kicks
  • Serious chance of being mistaken for a student/DJ
  • Serious chance of being considered a "Flack"
  • Serious chance of being considered an alternative fuck
  • Serious chance of being considered an associate of Beelzebub
  • 32 Comments:

    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    If I saw someone using one of those, I'd seriously consider beating them up.

    1:32 PM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    If I saw someone using one of those things who was being beaten up I'd hold them down to assist with the beating up.

    1:34 PM  
    Blogger jawa said...

    If i saw someone holding down someone using one of those phones whilst someone else beat them up i would defiantely put the boot into the person with the phone.

    1:37 PM  
    Anonymous MST said...

    If I saw someone with that, I'd think they needed it to organise both their busy student schedule and their busy DJ'ing schedule at the same time. Because they were perpetual urban nomads.

    Still, I'd like to see it being professionally held or some acompanying lifestyle photography to make a proper decision.

    1:56 PM  
    Anonymous a bloke in a pub said...

    If I found one of those in a pub, I'd immediately give it to anyone else incase someone tried to beat me up.

    2:01 PM  
    Anonymous Tosser said...

    That phone is bum gay.

    2:14 PM  
    Anonymous stayontheroofs said...

    This is why someone should invent a phone-trailer to put your phone in, which you tie to your ankle and drag around with you. That way, you can pretend your phone isn't actually yours and someone was just playing a prank and tying a phone-trailer to your ankle. And no one will nick it because the phone trailer will have a little door and a little lock on it.

    2:50 PM  
    Anonymous Jimmy Somerville said...

    Should have just called it the T-Mobile Homo.

    2:54 PM  
    Anonymous 10,000 Angry Vegans said...

    That phone is Rio and she dances on the sand.

    nuff said?

    2:57 PM  
    Anonymous Ric said...

    One of my friends, who shall be known as "Flack" always buys these sort of stupid phones that are very hard to use and have keyboards on them. Me and my group of old school friends therefore call them "Flack Phones". Flack is a greasy geek who we used to pick on, Idiot. You'd be a Flack if you got one of these!!

    Be careful.

    iftfhfr - what someone with a lisp and a stutter says when trying to say any word.

    3:19 PM  
    Anonymous GrayV said...

    Nobody has invented a hold for such a phone yet. Korean models refuse to touch it in case it marks the end of their career.

    The best you can hope for is for a group of unknowingly bisexual students to put an amateur thing-holding video on YouTube.

    It'll be yesterday's news by tomorrow. Trust me.

    3:21 PM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Let me guess. It supports Wi-Fi and the battery life is terrible.

    Get a normal phone you alternative fuck!

    3:42 PM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I'm in tomorrow.

    3:56 PM  
    Anonymous Carl Zeiss said...

    These objects are the work of Beelzebub, I tell you.

    4:40 PM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    How did Scotland get on against South Africa?

    4:41 PM  
    Anonymous Vi Agra said...

    I don't know why you bother with these simple devices. What I want those clever boffins to invent is some kind of machine that will make a loud annoying noise or buzz violently whenever one of your friends feels like talking to you. Now that would be worth buying.

    4:41 PM  
    Anonymous Men no me said...

    Whoa, hold on fellas. give this thing a chance:

    Pros: it comes with 3 styli! 3! Two of which can be sharpened like jail house shivs to combat aggressive pub mates and passersby.

    And you can check out the not bad lifestyle photos : here

    4:48 PM  
    Blogger jawa said...

    But here's the serious question - does it work as an alarm clock? Because if not its a retro piece of soppy shit.

    4:57 PM  
    Anonymous Obi Wan Kebab said...

    Glue a free Nokia to the back of your DS instead. It would look similar and invite fewer beatings.

    5:22 PM  
    Anonymous BluseyChris said...

    Running Microsoft eh? I wonder if it'll crash when I dial 999. The last one with that I had did. I miss my now departed 3310.

    12:48 AM  
    Blogger mobilevirgin said...

    http://www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=428823059&size=m

    They can hold fingers too

    3:48 AM  
    Anonymous Nick said...

    Nah, you want this one.
    http://www.phones4u.co.uk/shop/shop_payg_details.asp?itemkey=164994

    It allows you to make calls, send texts and is an alarm clock. Described as a bit "emerging market". it's almost as if someone from Motorola reads this blog...

    12:03 PM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I like it, but then I wear shiny shoes and chinos. Don't suppose I can get beaten up any more for using that phone.

    6:16 PM  
    Anonymous conk deneddy tookle-netat anet said...

    This phone will bring peace to the world, make the blind see and make anything that is sore and swollen less sore and swollen (unless it feels good like that). If you dont like it you are secretly straight - even though you look and act SO gay.

    Anyone who thinks good spelling is a mark of education or wit is sorely lacking in both. Dont read it make your willy shrink. Why does your face looklike that - what happened to you?

    2:06 AM  
    Anonymous leaning, leaning over, aaah! said...

    Take your rancid ear out of my mind!

    I want to put my finger in your MIND!

    2:13 AM  
    Anonymous Massive, Massive ass-hole flavoured burgers with fries said...

    Is your ass-hole on fire?... have you tried water?

    2:20 AM  
    Anonymous GrayV's bitch said...

    GrayV was right.
    I'm a bisexual student and I want one of them.

    rafbmtf - pretty self explanitory.

    2:21 PM  
    Anonymous arseface-face-like-an-arse said...

    chocolate adverts are eating people right now.

    9:58 AM  
    Anonymous zenotet mueky said...

    14.348827rttpx-flashwad-hairy-wool-cat

    I think thats just about right.

    10:09 AM  
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