Unexpected promotional image joy: The Samaritans
Yes, The Samaritans has a promotional image archive. It features some old men, a variety of logos and one of our most favourite things in the world - a ropey old slapper called Gemma with big old tits. Gemma Bissix. Our second-favourite Gemma.
What is it about Gemmas? They're all super-sized large-chested sex machines. There must've been a top secret government genetic engineering project, called The Gemma Project, that ran for a brief period in 1983. We are only now seeing these awesome Gemmas reaching maturity and entering the mainstream.
Here's one of her on a bed. If everyone got five minutes with her on the bed, we'd imagine The Samaritans would be able to close immediately.
Here's one of an old man being very understanding. Frankly, we'd rather nuzzle Gemma. That would make everything seem instantly OK!
This man's very sweaty. He's probably talking a teenager down off a bridge somewhere in South Wales. It could go either way. And the call is being recorded for training purposes, so he'd better not fuck up.
But that's enough about depression intervention. You should read this moving story about how Gemma rejoined EastEnders this year. It involves amazing scenes of her nearly getting it on with Ian Beale.
Can you guess what's going to happen next?
Yep. She purposefully poured wine on herself. To this day, no one has managed to make a wine spillage look convincing on TV. Anyway. That's probably enough of this. We're dangerously off remit.
WHAT WERE WE GOOGLING WHEN WE FOUND THIS?
What is it about Gemmas? They're all super-sized large-chested sex machines. There must've been a top secret government genetic engineering project, called The Gemma Project, that ran for a brief period in 1983. We are only now seeing these awesome Gemmas reaching maturity and entering the mainstream.
Here's one of her on a bed. If everyone got five minutes with her on the bed, we'd imagine The Samaritans would be able to close immediately.
Here's one of an old man being very understanding. Frankly, we'd rather nuzzle Gemma. That would make everything seem instantly OK!
This man's very sweaty. He's probably talking a teenager down off a bridge somewhere in South Wales. It could go either way. And the call is being recorded for training purposes, so he'd better not fuck up.
But that's enough about depression intervention. You should read this moving story about how Gemma rejoined EastEnders this year. It involves amazing scenes of her nearly getting it on with Ian Beale.
Can you guess what's going to happen next?
Yep. She purposefully poured wine on herself. To this day, no one has managed to make a wine spillage look convincing on TV. Anyway. That's probably enough of this. We're dangerously off remit.
WHAT WERE WE GOOGLING WHEN WE FOUND THIS?
"Old man phone" "Ways to kill self" "Gemma Bissix hi-res bra"
Labels: PROMOTIONAL IMAGERY
Item posted at 4:11 PM
12 Comments:
I'll have you know that Joan Collins perfected auto-wine-spillage in the 1970s.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICmjZXf3lto
That keyring she's got looks a wee bit impractical.
Can some kind contributor photoshop something in place of the wine glass in the last shot please? Try and make it fit her hand. Then I can experience my own brand of auto-spillage.
Man. Seeks woman. Must be called Gemma.
And both Gemma's were in hollyoaks
Were you not aware of the "G.E.M.M.A" initiative? Gemma stands for Genetically Enhanced Mammoth-Mammaried Amazons, a project run from British Telecom's orbiting Death Star during the 1970's with the intention of creating an Promotional Holder that is impossible to resist. The first fruits* of their labour are only now maturing.
The whole project was hushed up, with the babies created being given to foster families to raise. The fact that they are now starting to naturally find their way into thing-holding and promotional modelling on their own has obvously left the bean-counters that cancelled the project abjectly embarrassed. Had the project remained in BT's control, we would now be incapable of resisting purchasing BT Home Hubs and cable TV services, instead of being physically repulsed by Kris Marshall 4 times an hour.
Although his tamed milf ain't bad.
* melons, obviously.
Yeah, she's a MILFUTA
Whoah. We should have more women helping out men in their homes when men call the hotlines. Now, that would REALLY help those men.
Ian Beale snogged her.
I suspect Adam Woodyatt got that little bonus written into his contract when he threatened to quit and go work on The Bill instead.
Spillage
GiggetyGiggety Giggety Goo
Would pay good money to see that spillage in HD slo mo.
Finarr - verification word of the century!
Thanks so much for this! This is exactly what I was looking for
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