Tuesday, March 18, 2008

WANTED: Photos of your old remote controls

Right. Let's DO THIS.

As ever, it's supreme reader and regular in-joiner "Phorenzik" who's kicking it all off, with his selection of remote controls - and their batteries!

Some remotes and batteries. Doing captions for each would take weeks of work

"Hello, I've got a new job."

Some remotes and batteries. Doing captions for each would take weeks of work

"Whilst at my new job, I found a box full of old remotes that were about to be thrown away. You'll never guess what was inside the old remotes either."

Some remotes and batteries. Doing captions for each would take weeks of work

"BATTERIES! That's what!"

Some remotes and batteries. Doing captions for each would take weeks of work

"I filtered out the rubbish ones and only bothered pinching the funny ones."

Some remotes and batteries. Doing captions for each would take weeks of work

"Imagine my delight when I excavated a KORANDO from one of the remotes. It was just like Christmas, the good Christmas where you get presents and stuff, not the bad Christmas where you have to stay with your uncle and 'join in' with his friends."

Some remotes and batteries. Doing captions for each would take weeks of work

"I even risked getting caught by my new boss and took a couple of covert pictures of the best remotes."

Some remotes and batteries. Doing captions for each would take weeks of work

"I haven't bothered cropping them or anything as I have to work 50 hours a week and haven't got quite as much spare time as I used to have."

Some remotes and batteries. Doing captions for each would take weeks of work

"If you run out of funny captions to write you could always paste a few adverts in-between. Cheers then, Phorenzik."

Some remotes and batteries. Doing captions for each would take weeks of work




Some remotes and batteries. Doing captions for each would take weeks of work

Thanks, Phorenzik. You are the model reader. You really should start your own blog. Perhaps base it around this "boss" you mentioned up there? He'd surely see the funny side of it if he ever found out.

Some remotes and batteries. Doing captions for each would take weeks of work

Hopefully this will open the floodgates to lots more photos of old remote controls! Stay tuned, remote fans! This is gonna blow up BIG TIME.

WHAT WE LOOK FOR IN A REMOTE CONTROL PHOTO:
  • AMSTRAD branding
  • Leaking batteries
  • Proprietary technology, such as "RangeMax" or "DistaChange"
  • Ingrained food/skin
  • Evidence of damage from domestic abuse
  • A worn favourite button
  • Shininess
  • 13 Comments:

    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Oh come on, Idiot.

    Things with faces = rubbish.
    Batteries = mildly amusing. In 2006.
    Pictures of Gemma Atkinson 'promoting' stuff = :-)

    12:59 PM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Google.

    1:01 PM  
    Anonymous ElBiggus said...

    Somewhere in the loft I have a "one function" remote from an ancient Zenith TV -- it makes a clicking noise, and the channel moves up a notch. I'll try and dig it out, but sadly it contains NO BATTERIES -- the whole thing was mechanical.

    Captcha: kaeuci -- some sort of African biscuit (which in itself sounds a bit like a euphemism for something unsavoury).

    1:03 PM  
    Anonymous hamildan said...

    I was going to post that little Nokia remote. it came with the first nokia freeview box that was rubbish.

    1:08 PM  
    Blogger Sponge Finge said...

    These remote controls are good, but I know there are better ones out there. I can't wait to see what's going to explode onto this site in the coming weeks. I'm feeling a little light headed from the excitement.

    I know of at least two good remotes buried somewhere in the loft, so I know what I'll be doing tonight. Anyone want to join me? It smells musty!

    2:15 PM  
    Blogger favus said...

    Didn't Phorenzik lose his last job due to a blog? i don't think he will make that mistake again any time soon! Hi Phorenzik

    3:42 PM  
    Blogger phorenzik said...

    Favus, I think that was the reason why Idiot mentioned the blog in the first place.

    I haven't got time for a new blog at the moment. I attempted a follow up to SFC (called SFE). It was shit though and I couldn't be arsed to update it since I started working again. I only have time for the odd comment here and there now. I have a PC at my new job but they're all internet Nazis and they won't let me go online.

    Maybe I'd have enough time to guest write on UK:R? I couldn't be any worse than that Swill Man fellow that everyone seems to hate.

    6:17 PM  
    Anonymous Idiot said...

    You can if you like, but be warned - every time I give someone the keys to UKR they transform into rambling oddballs who churn out 2000 word essays no one else understands.

    It's a curse. Save yourself.

    6:26 PM  
    Blogger phorenzik said...

    This post has been removed by the author.

    7:41 AM  
    Blogger phorenzik said...

    There would be nothing above a sentence from me. This is for two reasons.

    Reason 1: I'm lazy

    Reason 2: I can't be bothered to think of another reason as reason 1 pretty much sums it up.

    Also, I'd probably only ever post once a month.

    The choice is yours. I'm still up for it. Maybe you could have a reader vote or something? I don't want to lose you any fans or anything.

    7:42 AM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Come on, Idiot. Commander Zorg needs a midshipman or cabin boy or something. Phorenzik could be a powder monkey, that sounds like a cool job title.

    9:17 AM  
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