Gadget with NUMEROUS FACES #1

Some sort of alarm. With about a million different faces in/around itself. The more you look, the more you discover! It's a bit of a long email, so feel free to just scroll down and laugh at all the various eyes and mouths on display.

(The one at the bottom is an actual man's face, not a gadget with an AMAZINGLY realistic face, by the way).

OPENING PREAMBLE:
"The subject is not a typo, this really is a single gadget with multiple faces. It has so many faces in fact, that pretty much every time I look at it I see a new face. So much so that it's beginning to frighten me a bit and I've stopped looking at the pictures, because it makes me think of H.R.Giger stuff and Hellraiser III."



"It may look like a standard, run-of-the-mill alarm system, but it hides a whole bunch of modern features including, but not limited to wires, a light, and the most faces I've seen on a single gadget. For instance, turn it around and..."



"...you get a Jason mask thing. Well, you would if the two large eyes in the centre got your attention first. Otherwise you may have noticed the happy face at the top. To be honest, I've no idea why he's so happy - he's stuck to a wall his entire life and can't see anything. Also, between the two large eyes is a third face. It's a bit small but in its favour, it has a pair of functional eyebrows.

"This image could be incorporated into some kind of freaky console-war psychological test - if you saw the smiling face first, then you're a happy, blue-sky Sega kinda guy. If you saw the Jason mask first, you're a closet serial killer who enjoys Rape Bitch Murder Street on your PS3, which you really ought to have stolen.

"There are probably some more faces there, but I'd imagine it all depends on what you believe constitutes 'a face'. According to Wikipedia: 'The face is the front part of the head and includes the hair, forehead, eyebrow, eyes, nose, ears, cheeks, mouth, lips, philtrum, teeth, skin, and chin.'

"The above definition is a bit ambiguous, as it doesn't mention whether a face needs all of those bits or whether the face is simply the bit where you'd find all those bits. Back to our gadget, here's another pic at an angle. Maybe more faces will appear?"



"I can't see any more faces. But suppose we were to turn it upside down?"



"WE'VE UPSET HIM :( He could be upset because we turned him upside down, or maybe all that talk about being squashed against the wall has given him ideas. Or maybe he's just a big racist and can't stand having to rely on a brown man's hand for stability? Maybe he prefers the white hand?

"Notice the little face in the middle is now also upset (whereas before he was completely indifferent) and in his sadness has grown a little goatee beard. He may be sad now, but nothing can prepare him for the inevitable mask removal process..."



"BUT WAIT, HE'S HAPPY AGAIN! And he's wasting no time in bombarding me with a load of delightful instructions and warnings to prove it! I particularly like the red sticker which says it should be removed before installation. It's been signed 'W', so the alarm company knows who to fire for being a willy.

"The main face has turned out to be some kind of Darth Vader-alike with all those wires. He told me he was my dad but that's probably a lie. I'm too brown to be his son. Speaking of brown, he doesn't seem too miffed about me holding him now, so I guess he isn't a big racist after all. Although he did call me a Paki when I tried putting his mask back on, the little darling - Regards, Bilal Sheikh."



"PS: After the recent poll and that self-proclaimed 'best gadget with a face ever', I was worried people may be getting bored of gadgets with faces, so I have also enclosed a picture of me wearing the RIP t-shirt at Hamley's last year as a sort of friendly emotional blackmail.

"The bananaphone could pose a problem, as it may lead commonfolk/wankers to believe that all SEGA activists are a bunch of wallies, which is simply is not true. If I'd known at the time that it'd be used for such purposes I would've done things differently, like take the photo next to the PS3 booth and Photoshop in a stream of piss."