Welcome to the two-dimensional HELL WORLD of the Chugalug Drinks Factory

Attractive? Live in a flat that's a bit like the one from mid-90s drama This Life? Enjoy social drinking and really want to see your female flatmates hammered and unconscious while you tip your drinks into the house-plant to remain in CONTROL?



They haven't even bothered with legs or perspective. Buy it or just mock it here. We would submit this to Photoshop Disasters, but they seem to have us on permanent divert to their spam folder.

Gadgets with FACES #99: An Argos Halogen Heater

For one initial cost of £12.99 you can have an Argos Halogen Heater with a face on the back of it, plus ongoing electricity costs of £30 an hour to run the thing. This update also doubles as a review of the camera quality of the Nokia N95 8GB, which has produced the following 1944 x 2592 image despite being half broken.



"This evening, as I was getting increasingly miserable about my lost youth whilst my sister described to me, in painful detail, via Skype, just how much fun she was having at university, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that the BACK OF MY £12.99 ARGOS HALOGEN HEATER WAS LOOKING AT ME AND SNEERING CONTEMPTUOUSLY."

THE EMAIL CONTINUED
"Being a diligent Idiot Toys reader, I immediately reached for my broken Nokia N95 8G that I found in the mud at a music festival and doesn't work as a telephone but does (barely) work as a camera, and snapped a picture whilst it still gazed at me with its sneering, hoity-toity face."

AND...
"As you can see, it is looking down its nose at us, non 1200-Watt humans, with so much contempt it has even grown a little, taunting white Hitler moustache. It reminds me a bit of John Waters, the film director."

AND...
"Please accept this image as thanks for the link you provided to my blog, www.anewbandaday.com, on 'sister blog' UK:R ages ago. If it'll 'sweeten the deal' to get the picture on Idiot Toys I can get my girlfriend to press her boobs against it and then I'll take another picture. Not that I'm desperate. But they are big boobs. Love Loe" - Joe.

Static non-powered objects with FACES #21: Something on the back of a lorry that looks like eyes

The explanation for the poor quality of the photography is twice the size of the actual description of the picture content, for reasons we are about to make clear...



"I'm not sure what category you would put this in, but I found a truck carrying some odd tanks that looked like a face."



"I'm not going to apologise for the terrible photo quality as I found driving quickly while taking photos is shit-hard (and not actually that legal either, probably). The fact my windscreen was covered in crap didn't help matters either. Kind regards" - Dave W.

WHAT CATEGORY SHOULD WE PUT THIS IN?
EXTREME DANGER in-motion photography of static non-powered objects with FACES on a ROAD.

Gadgets with FACES in PUBLIC TOILETS (incorporating Mobile Phone Picture Quality Review) #3: An Initial paper towel and/or aroma dispenser

Brave reader risks beating by getting it (a RIM Blackberry 8110, according to the EXIF data) out in a public toilet.



Not a bad 1600x1200 image from the BlackBerry, there, especially considering this is taken inside - and also under extreme gonzo conditions where you have to shoot & go in a matter of seconds.

Gadgets with FACES #98: The Nokia 7310 Supernova DIY "Build" mobile

This is technically a Gadget with a FACE on the BACK, but we'll just throw it in with the rest so we can break the psychological 100 barrier next week.



He ought to be a bit happier than that, the ungrateful little shit. Most gadgets don't get attractive ladies lasered onto their foreheads.



And what the HELL is going on in that hideous background picture? Is that what Nokia is suggesting we all look like?

Samsung reveals the DRUMPER - a combination dress/jumper

The idea is to save women precious time by combining the dress and the jumper into one handy piece of clothing. The DRUMPER has been developed in partnership with Sony, which was rumoured to have been working on rival DROUSERS technology for several years.



Easier to put on, easier for men to [ELABORATE PRODUCT HOLDING FAN FICTION STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION]



We're saddened to see Samsung encouraging women to touch screens. We spend at least an hour a day telling women NOT TO TOUCH screens. Their eyes don't seem to be good enough to pick up smears and fingerprints.

Miss External 4 Port USB 2.0 HUB

All hail the corporate product imagery of dull tech product company Sweex!



What separates Sweex from the rest of the generic hardware re-branders is its engaging box art of lovely tech-understanding ladies.



This is what it would've been like had wi-fi PC cards existed in the 1950s.



We'd be a bit embarrassed buying a product when we can't even make eye contact with the box it comes in.



We'd imagine the ladies are unaware that their photos are being used to advertise computer products in the UK.



Is that the face of a woman who'd be completely at ease installing a PCI card? Plus it looks like it's only got three USB ports, not four.



If you need a USB to parallel cable, you'd be better off saving the £9.99 and putting it toward getting a whole new PC manufactured during this decade.



She's looking a bit sheepish due to purchasing one with a PS/2 connector when USB was specifically requested. There's even a picture of it on the front of the box.



We would like to videochat with her, although we'd rather not pay the $9.99 per minute she'd charge.



The comments are all going to be which one you would like to connect/interface with.



Miss External Sound Card won't get any votes.



We'd expect Miss Multimedia Keyboard to be the most popular.



The Sweex web site even has desktop wallpapers!



It's getting too much.



Great work, Sweex. Fantastic. Exactly what we like to see. Here's an incoming link to your homepage as a reward.

Woman just about manages to restrain herself from guzzling down the tasty dog food

Here's a rarity - a PR photo illustrating dog food in which the human IS NOT being tempted to pop down a few of the temptingly meaty chunks. And the dog's properly eating it.



That's it. There's no additional joke. It's just a dog food publicity photo we found. Dog food publicity photos is not as good as executive moustaches, but at least we're trying to hit you with the new ideas.

Static non-powered objects with FACES #20: A bin

Great, adorable face, complete with arms, a big tummy and little wheels for feet. You could give it a name, advertise it on telly and sell it to children. Hopefully this will get picked up by one of the major face picture news aggregator blogs and we'll be swamped with traffic.



"Saw this just as I was about to leave work the other day (another exciting day in IT Support...). I managed to sneak a picture before anyone saw me and labelled me some sorta freak and had me escorted off site in one of those white suits with your arms tied up (again). It looks like it's offering a hug, or am I just looking at it to hard? Anyhow excellent site, never fails to brighten up even the dullest day! Regards, Mark, London, England" - Mark, London, England.

PanDigital and Mr & Mrs Teeth

Mr & Mrs Teeth have had a lovely baby, also with amazing teeth.



This is the PhotoLink Handheld Scanner, a handheld scanner. For people who want to make old photos into digital files you can lose and delete easier.



It's definitely their kid.

Home speaker system BLANKED by arrogant models

The photo is meant to be ABOUT the speaker, yet they're both too busy flirting with the imaginary breakdancer off the side of the shot to notice it.



Reminds us of being at school.

Is there a social network for people within the dentistry field?

Yes, there is!



HOT TOPICS:

Anaesthetic close shaves

Accidental brushing up against female clients - tips?

What've you done to them while they're under?

Patient cleavage photos

Should I bother sterilising?

HOW TO: Purposefully inflicting pain on the ugly

Dentist Social Network Takes the Crown

Dentist Network, a niche social network dedicated to the dental profession has been launched this month. The site provides related content for dental practitioners, and users are encouraged to interact by providing and uploading their own video and picture content, along with polls, blogs and forums.

Dentist Network (http://www.dentist-networks.com) has begun positively with keen interest from dentistry students using the site as a resource to study and learn from fully trained professionals. Added success has been established with a partnership between Dentist Network and the International Association of Dental Students; giving IADS members the chance to network over their common profession.

"I loved the idea of the website as soon as I saw it" says Tomaz Spindler, President of the IADS. "It is fantastic that such a resource has been created and will be a huge benefit to dentistry students worldwide, allowing them to keep up to date, and compare practices and procedures, as well as getting first hand advice from those in the know."

The site has launched its initial beta version and has additional site content and applications being added to compel the user experience. Dentist Network is accompanied by the Charity Network (http://www.the-charity-network.com/) the new dedicated social network for the charity sector.

A full pinky retraction

Try doing this at home.



A wave of pinky amputations by Korean officials in the late 1960s led to pinky removals being outlawed by the IHF. Retracting the pinky in this fashion is the only remaining option.



The Russians are rumoured to be attempting to use gene therapy to breed girls with naturally smaller pinkies - but we'll have to wait at least 14 years to see the result of the programme on the international stage.

Creative "Zen Moo"

Something about udders. Or cows. Cows showing your their udders? Pretty cows? Fat cows? Miserable fat cows? Cows on a catwalk? Cows holding? Milk moustaches? Executives with milk moustaches?



It's an MP3 player shaped like a cow. This is the workmanlike part of the update.



And this is the fun, relaxing part. Girl #3 has created a face with her body and clothes. The girl on the left only has one leg.

EXECUTIVE MOUSTACHES: James Liptak of the CALIFORNIA ASSOCIATION OF REALTORS

It's Executive Moustaches! The trend that's SWEEPING the bit of desk we sit at. Honestly, this bit of desk hasn't been this excited about something on the internet since that John Craven sex tape leaked in 2004.

We shouldn't really do this first thing on a Monday, as now we'll have to wait a whole week until we can do another one :(



Nice work, James. A very finely-trimmed base to keep it away from the lips and mouth hole. We also suspect James was a character actor in the 1960s, or at the very least appeared in one episode of TJ Hooker as a homeless man. Here's who he has to beat.

Samsung measures new range in hand spans

Inches are a bit confusing to today's modern youths, so Samsung has decided to revert to the traditional 'hand span' measurement technique.



The Samsung 2342BWX comes in 4hs, 5hs and a full 1080p 6.5hs. It is also A Bit Wider Than A Magazine, if you're from mainland Europe, where things are still measured by how big they are compared to magazines.

Siemens Gigaset - the cordless telephone solution for EVERYONE!

Literally everyone. They had a meeting and broke the entire population of the UK down into six staggeringly cliched distinct categories.



Are you a student? (You probably are, as we always seem to end up being liked by students. Male information technology students, sadly - we are yet to crack appealing to female art students. If we ever do, you'll know, as the site will suddenly and mysteriously stop being updated). If you are a student, would you like a digital cordless phone for Christmas? Seems a bit unlikely, really. You'd probably prefer the newest Guitar Hero for playing at all those parties!



Perhaps this is just viral marketing for Terry's Chocolate Oranges and socks, which now seem like awesome gifts in comparison?

Build your ENTIRE LIFE around World of Warcraft

Here's what the man in IT is getting for Christmas off his mum.

F1 - Call ambulance, I'm having a heart attack
F2 - Hotlink to favourite porn
F3 - Text mum to say I'm still alive
F4 - Text work to say I won't be coming in today
F5 - BRB, poo bag needs emptying

F6 - F10 left intentionally blank so you lot have got something to think about. That's today's Comments Brain teaser.

Static non-powered objects with FACES #19: A bit of dry dock in Rotterdam

Anyone fancy doing a bit of dry-docking in Rotterdam?



"This is a block from a dry dock in Rotterdam it was holding up the ship my mate was on. It looks a bit alarmed but then what can you expect when he's holing up 35,000 tons?" - Stoop.

*Jingle* Promotional image of the Weeeeek

The only idea dog food companies have to illustrate how tasty their dog food is is to have people look like they're eating it. Or at least putting their faces and mouths very near it because it smells SO GOOD and they're seriously thinking about putting milk on it and having it for lunch.



That stupid dog ought to put its head in the bowl, not wrestle with the man for the spoonful.

Have we featured dog acting before?
Yes we have!

EXECUTIVE MOUSTACHES: Charles W. Fischer of Nova Chemicals

We've had an idea for a new thing to do! This one's got legs. We shall scour the press sites of the world for hi-res photos of American businessmen with moustaches. They all have moustaches out there, thanks to the moustache still being seen as a symbol of macho status in the US - rather than a symbol of where you like the cocks to go in.



That's Charles W. Fischer of Nova Chemicals, running with a superb walrus-inspired piece that must've taken well over six months of meticulous grooming. Congratulations, Charles!

Gadgets with CELEBRITY LOOKALIKE FACES #2: A Tivoli Model CD Player that looks like Benny Hill

Who would've thought so much mileage could be squeezed out of one rubbish idea of pretending buttons are eyes?



Original listing here, featuring the sensational and thrilling new colour "Metallic Taupe": Tivoli Model CD Player.

Gadgets with FACES #97: NUMARK TOTAL COMPUTER DJ IN A BOX

Disappointing standardised owl.



Numark also loses points for its product naming, with "NUMARK TOTAL COMPUTER DJ IN A BOX" not being a particularly evocative choice.

Things that come in WENGE #2: The Tivoli Audio Music System

Wenge is ON THE UP! Previously only mentioned in Sony literature, DIY store catalogues and a Wikipedia entry made by one of you lot when you really should've been re-installing XP on one of the computers on the second floor, the Wenge Army is once again on the rise - thanks to Tivoli Audio.



It's good to get some clarity on the pronunciation issue of the controversial bronze-like colour.

Gadgets with FACES #96: Another security array

That same anti-establishment installation engineer has also found employment in Spain.



"A high quality Nokia photo of a gadget with a face. From the Spanish Senate, no less. Cheers" - Jim.

CELEBRITY VIDEO ENDORSEMENTS: Avril Lavigne doing Canon again

It's worth sticking with this one to the end, as it closes with a rubbish wonky-mouthed smile and Avril cleverly arranging some cameras into a very neat line - saving what would otherwise be a rubbish advert.



There's another one called Shoot Like a Star here, in which she wrestles to maintain control of an EOS bigger than her head.



In related news, the highest-resolution we've managed to find of yesterday's series is the above at 450x600. We even went as far as Google Image Search results page six, so it definitely doesn't exist.



The GOOD NEWS is while searching for "Avril Canon" this came up.



Wonder if they ever met? And if they talked about tennis or music?

APOLOGY
Sorry about the sprawling nature of this update. But it does accurately document the events of 10 minutes of yesterday afternoon.

VIDEO: Spaceships having sex

It's very seedy. Loads of men are sitting around watching it happen, plus there are some extremely explicit and close-up camera angles.



There's also too much story at the beginning before it gets down to hardcore DOCKING ACTION.

TAKEN OFF OF:
YouTube - endeavour STS-126 docks with iss 16/nov/08

CELEBRITY HOLDING: Avril Lavigne getting her mucky hands on a Canon DSLR

You wouldn't want to use it after her, it'd be all grimy and would smell like an ashtray. Although it might be nice if she'd forgotten to format the memory card and left loads of private photos on there you could (a) wank over or (b) sell, depending on your opinion of the mucky pop-rock starlet.



"Working with Canon Canada is truly exciting for me, as I'm a huge photography fan" she said. Or had someone say for her so she could stay in the bath full of yellow M&Ms, or whatever it is these rich rock kids do.

Apple wins on user-attractiveness

Microsoft has rather foolishly compiled a massive wall of ugly to celebrate the sort of people that consider themselves to be PCs. It's not going to help much.



This is why you should never use real people. Models breakdancing is actually the better option, from a purely aesthetic perspective.

Gadgets with FACES #95: A Malaysian plate warmer

Warm plates. One of the most unnecessary things in life. When you've reached the age at which you become worried about warming your plates up you might as well stop bothering with life, as most your meals will be spoon-fed to you by a nurse or coming through a pipe while you lay in a drug-induced coma.



"Found this beauty in Malaysia. It's a plate warmer thingy. If you pop its head open you can see lots of plates, all lovely and cosy inside the body/head. There were a few Malay lady waitresses, whom if I had the nerve to ask for them to stand next to it, would have had guaranteed coverage on the site.

"Unfortunately I am a coward and just took a quick piccie when no one was looking. And my wife was there, who might have given me a beating if I had asked the waitresses and not her. It would then have been a mess. Much like this description of this poor quality photo. After some research I found out the little plate holder face is from Germany" - MickeyP.

What sort of things can you do with a 1GHz integrated Snapdragon processor?

All of these things!



So that's email, go on the internet, make a car, float in the air on a magic carpet tile, catch a train, beam icons in the sky, talk to satellites, hear radio, go on bridges and protect yourself from muggings with a shield of spinning orbs. Versatility in silicon form.

Ironically celebrate the history of LEGO

What is it with LEGO? Why has every fin-topped media cunt got a LEGO t-shirt on and a selection of LEGO men on his desk? It's small plastic bricks for children. Once you're old enough to be left playing with it unsupervised, you ought to stop obsessing about it.



From here - 50 Years of the LEGO Brick, if you still haven't grown out of making ironic purchases of tat to make your house/office space look quirky.

Man breaks expensive camera

This is why delicate Korean ladies are best used. Their fingers aren't even strong enough to open the battery compartment, let alone cleave the lens off.



Don't know why you're smiling, mate. That's coming off your fee.

"Gadgets with faces like the person in Edvard Munch's 'The Scream' and ridiculously long URLS #1‏"

Found here. Sent in by a person that seems to be called just "AC". For full visual impact, please rotate your head as far to the left as it can go without sending shooting pains down your back.



It's a Digital Camera Gift Card. We can't tell if it's a gift card for the specific purchasing of a digital camera, or if it's a gift card with photographic capabilities. Or both. Either way it's probably not worth dwelling on. Just look at its silly face.

Gadgets with FACES#94: A bit of the Large Hadron Collider

The purpose of the LHC revealed - it's beaming trillions of gadget faces around in a big circle. The core of the machine seems to be constructed entirely of faces - there are at least seven clearly visible pairs of eyes.

Congratulations, science!



"I went to a thing about CERN's Large Hadron Collider yesterday (because I really know how to treat a woman), and therein I saw this cross-section of the main dipole. It clearly has a face, and even a moustache plaque. Imagine that friendly face guiding protons around a 27km ring at 0.9999999 times the speed of light! Also, had I realised it was so reflective I would have been naked, like in the hilarious early days of the internet" - James.

Canon PowerShot SX1 IS and ALL-MALE LIFESTYLE PHOTOGRAPHY!

Everyone has to pretend to be a woman in the comments bit for this. Say things like "Cooo! I'd like to take a video of him taking his trousers off put in the washing machine!" and do lots of happy and obscure smiley faces.



He's just got off his motorbike to take a photograph of the vast white expanse.



Fantastic hand work. Not particularly well thought out choice of shirt.

Static non-powered objects with FACES #19: A stone

It's a stone. Just a stone. We are not proud. He's sent this in twice - one about a year ago, when we ignored it. And again last week, when we gratefully prepared it for uploading. How times change!



"It's a pebble which appears to be eating another, much smaller pebble. Like something out of some hideous dystopian nightmare. It is difficult to assess if this is evidence of nature becoming 'self-aware', but it is nonetheless a point of some discussion" - Stu, from Hythe.

MOBILE PHONE CAMERA REVIEW
"I have also photographed it with the desperately poor Nokia 6500 'slide' (see - a gadget!) on a carved oak table to add to the interest value. A sure-fire winner!"

Gadgets with FACES #93: A chuckling defibrillator

This happy little chap may well be the last thing you ever see, as you slip away from the world while a hungover crash team tries to make your clogged-up heart start working again.



Funereal black would've been a more considerate choice of colour.

Canon PIXMA MP620 and MIXED-SEX LIFESTYLE PHOTOGRAPHY!

Anyone would think we've just remembered about the Canon press site and have downloaded everything that's new since our last visit.



This has almost certainly been Photoshopped. We're pretty sure jumper-to-printer technology doesn't actually exist.



This has also almost certainly been Photoshopped, unless that's an extremely impressive new form of data cable that utilises "slow light".



For tomorrow we have two more of a man. If you're desperate to find them and want to prepare your comedy comments in advance, like they do on Have I Got News For You?, you can find them on the Canon press site.

She isn't wearing anything underneath

That's what were supposed to think, we believe.



The fantasy is ruined here by a glimpse of blouse.



The fantasy is ruined here by a glimpse of pink vest. Perhaps she isn't wearing any trousers?

Gadgets with FACES #92: An array of safety equipment in Amsterdam

The eyebrows suggest this face was created on purpose by a mischievous installation technician HELL BENT on subverting the system. Eyebrows virtually never occur on gadgets naturally.

If you move away from the monitor it looks like it's got elephant ears.



"Here's a picture of appalling quality taken on my phone. I'm not sure what the portrayed mechanism is supposed to do but my guess is that it is for guarding the door and freaking out the customers at a post office in Amsterdam, where I took this picture. Next time I go there I'll try and remember to bring my real camera" - Paul.

"Oxymoron box labels #1"

A man sent this in. He says it's an oxymoron. We're not going to agree or disagree in case it reveals to the world that we're not 100% sure what an oxymoron is.



"Saw this while sitting at the drive-thru of the local KFC. Tried to take a pic with my camera phone but my shot was blocked by a large Samoan operating a fryer. Luckily someone else had already taken a pic. Doubt there's a 'series' in this, but who'd of thunk batteries would make the grade either..." - Johnny.

Gadgets with FACES #91: A TV van

Evil TV van gazes menacingly down on man, in what is clearly some sort of metaphor for the evils of TV-based society. If you want anything funnier than that, email the picture to Charlie Brooker.



"TV uplink bus (everybody wants one) with delightfully sinister face. Sorry for the wankers in the frame but security was tight and the Force was watching us" - Mark and Franck.

High-Speed Factory Servicing Gets Even Faster for Gas Analysers

Gas analysers exist. Gas analyser servicing teams are also getting faster and better. That is your two new things to learn for today.



That's a man analysing gas analysers with his eyes. Here's the full press release, as it's not every day or year that we get to read a press release about the world of gas analytics. Seven days still seems like quite a long time, though.

High-Speed Factory Servicing Gets Even Faster for Gas Analysers

Geotech's Automated Calibration System

Seven days! Geotech has halved gas analyser service and calibration time to just seven days. This compares with industry averages elsewhere of weeks and months. Geotech service speed helps customers with fleets of analysers save hire costs and for users with just one or two, it minimises on-site downtime. Now the Geotech comprehensive service and calibration can be completed for a single-unit user in just about a week. For the Geotech service contract customers, turnaround is even faster than seven days. See: 'Geotech Service in Action'

According to Dean Kavanagh, Technical Services Manager, Geotech is using proven business and process improvement tools, including Kaizen and Six Sigma to strengthen product and service offerings and to develop its people. One result is the successful streamlining of calibration and service to achieve high-speed turnaround. "We have four fully-automated and computerised gas check and calibration systems; two in the UK, one in the US and one in Brazil. They are unique. Designed and built by Geotech, they give rock-solid consistency and quality to each calibration," he said. This service capability supports the GA2000 PLUS becoming the first UK portable landfill gas analyser to receive MCERTS certification - confirming that it performs fully and exactly to its high level of specification.

Further key investment comes with the Geotech Service Manager system which tracks and controls all analysers being serviced. It ensures on-time deliver to customers, as well as maintaining a highly effective record of all service activity for every instrument manufactured and serviced by Geotech. In addition to a calibration certificate, Geotech customers receive a full service and calibration analysis report on the condition and performance of their analyser.

Geotech's service engineers helped identify and implement the key improvement ideas to reduce potential client downtime during servicing. Their experience and knowhow provides the core capability of Geotech service excellence. Within the service team an inbred-culture of Continuous Improvement exists and they share and champion the view that 'rapid service turnaround is good for everyone'.

An additional benefit that comes from this is more efficient use of Geotech's service resource. It allows increased manufacturing capacity so the beneficial knock-on effect reduces lead times on new analyser delivery times also down to seven days. With Geotech's continued process improvement in manufacturing and service, the future could see turnaround times reduced even further.

Ends.

Editor's Note:

Gas analysers need regular factory service, calibration and test to confirm accuracy. Calibration records can validate compliance for; laboratories, indoor air quality, CDM, carbon credits, safe landfill operation and methane management and extraction and also prove landfill or anaerobic digester gas quality going to gas engines. Failed gas quality control can invalidate gas engine warranties, cause expensive damage and stop power generation.

Rapid factory service turnaround for analysers is vitally important to customers so they can continue with minimum interruption and down time.

Contact: Geotech
Web: www.geotech.co.uk
e-mail: sales@geotech.co.uk

Xtreme Olympus lady has also been skiing

It's the same woman from yesterday's horrific rollerblading incident, only now she's pretending to be empowered by technology while skiing.



Studio. Cheapskates.

The duotonal and modern ITN SUPER HEAVY

Another sensational combi-submission. This update features (a) a lovely macro mode photograph of an ITN SUPER HEAVY battery, plus (b) an example of the image quality of the Panasonic Lumix TZ5. That's a camera we'd consider getting if we weren't currently putting away £20 a month so we can get a Lumix G1 in about a year when they're cheap on eBay.

The ITN SUPER HEAVY is a deceptive beast. The colours and fonts suggest retro, but the presence of an email address on the side tells us it's actually a contemporary cell released in the last decade.



"Here is a picture of some batteries I just found in a not-so-old Wharfdale ('exclusive at Argos') remote. I just chucked the telly but couldn't find the remote, but now I have, so I can chuck that, too! Anyway, I wanted to test the macro ability of my new Panasonic Lumix TZ5 so I thought of you... did you know Sir Trevor was making batteries since he retired from reading the news? Neither did I" - Mike.

Possible sighting of Carl Zeiss

Is this the reclusive lens billionaire?



Amazing arm work from the man on the left. Imagine him doing "The Robot" in a nightclub after six pints of Stella. It would be incendiary.

THE ANSWER
No. Carl Zeiss died in 1888. He's no doubt doing about 7200rpm over what's happened to the camera industry.

ATTENTION ROLLERBLADERS!

Your once-edgy pursuit has now been taken over to symbolise the outdoor lifestyle, just like the poor snowboarders who are now about as fashionable as an Argos catalogue shower curtain.



The poor woman. She's trying her best to smile, but you can tell she's wondering exactly who thought this pose was a good idea and how many years it'll take her to get the modelling career back on track.

Gadgets with FACES #90: A Loyola analogue water heater

Another superb GWF submission from a glamorous foreign country augmented by additional background information.



"It's a kettle, in Hong Kong. Not very exotic, I know, but 'Loyola' does look rather happy."



"Possibly it's because she lives in a bar, rather than a bedsit with some sleeping pills like the most recent gadgets with faces that you have. Or maybe it's those strange green plastic beads on a stick, that she enjoys inserting into some orifice or other. What do I know?" - James.



"PS: Since cameras are technology, and you like technology, here's a photo I took at Hong Kong Stadium on Saturday of some photographers, one of whom is apparently taking a dump without remembering to lower his trousers first. Silly photographer!"

Sony Ericsson PROMOTIONAL TENNIS PHOTOS!

Whoever's in charge of Sony Ericsson must be extremely keen on lady tennis players. Here's a batch of photos taken for promotional purposes.



This one isn't very good. We probably shouldn't have bothered using it.



This one isn't very good. We probably shouldn't have bothered using it.