“I bought myself a very expensive GPS device thinking it may encourage me to go out for the odd walk. It didn’t. But I did have approximately 20 seconds of fun looking at the ROBOTIC OWL hidden inside the battery compartment. It has two robotic eyes – the basic Series II Sonar Replacement Eye (left eye) and the enhanced 2011 model Series IV Imaging Eye (right). The newer, better right eye is presumably too expensive for it to buy two of” – Rick.

From GigerPunk, who now also sees faces in carpets, ceilings, wallpaper, trees, lino, kitchen paper and extra-vivid laughing clown faces whenever he closes his eyes and tries to sleep.

Suspect the face-massaging thing is just a legitimate front so that Boots & Superdrug agree to stock it.

You could fit her head in that blue compartment, so perhaps it’s a cheap home cryogenic suspension solution.

“HOW CAN WE POSSIBLY NOT HAVE ANY CHEESE? LAST WEEK’S SHOPPING CAME TO £179 AND WE DON’T HAVE ANY CHEESE? NO I DON’T WANT LOBSTER BISQUE INSTEAD. BRING ME THREE BOTTLES OF SMIRNOFF MULE.”

“Its gormless face stares down at you while it helpfully sucks away harmful fumes and dust” – Roy.

“See me after class, Jonathon.”

“Kelly: bring me a recharged mobile telephone, it’s been at least 15 minutes since I last refreshed my RSS feeds. Sarah: jacket potato, beans and cheese. Jacqueline: prepare to vacuum the smell of the outside world off my jacket.”

It’s all been too much. It’s like it’s 2006 all over again and we still think that having a “tech blog” is a good idea.

“BUT I REALLY NEED SOME CHEESE RIGHT NOW SO PLEASE JUST LET ME AT IT EVEN JUST ONE SLICE OF THE OLD CHEDDAR THAT’S ALREADY OPEN”