“I suppose it’ll have to be eggs curry. Please tell me there’s rice in one of those containers.”

“…the very latest Printronic live greyscale adjustment sensors feeding out to a double redundant tray alongside in/out jam warnings with user-selectable notification tones and always-on low alert warnings monitored 24/7 by in-house logistics resulting in 99.8% guaranteed uptime when printing the representative average number of pages per day all backed by our two-year on-site maintenance plan and a 25% reduction in the cost of branded consumables when taking out a five-year warranty for the network-enabled variant delivered to you, Mike, for a low, low price of £129.99 ex-VAT.”

“…I mean, I usually have lobsters and watermelons, I wasn’t expecting… usually there are vegetables and water in here and… not just beer and cheese. Been a bit busy to get to the shops to buy my usual carrots and… the other fresh things that I usually eat all the time. This isn’t really representative of how I… live.”

“…NOTHING WHERE I CAN SEE THE EYES OR THE BRAIN OF THE MEAT. And always to be accompanied by some form of potato, even if it’s just on a bed of crisps.”

Looks like the sort of speaker rich people have either side of their television sets. The top one plays her music, the bottom one is for your music, the one in the middle streams a mutually-agreed joint playlist acceptable by both parties in the event people come round.

Level 10 enthusiasm is to be displayed only when announcing new hardware. Mobile security software solutions are restricted to a maximum enthusiasm display of Level 5. Samsung has therefore been found guilty of over-enthusing a tedious item and is banned from displaying any sort of enthusiasm at MWC 2014.

The judge also ruled that Samsung may only use sad-looking men in its promotional imagery for a period of six months starting today.

“…because I don’t see ANYTHING in there that actually requires refridgeration. Apart from the ice cream. I’ll eat all of that now to get rid of it.”

Thursday I’ll just get a burger or something on my way home.

“Wide range of complimentary pornography available for business travelers. Specify required niche at check-in.”

…nuts… bottles of fruit juice… peppers… …celery… definitely nothing to laugh about here at all… might as well just delete this photograph and… WAIT A MINUTE! COMPUTER, ENHANCE DOOR 3 SHELF 3!

Back in the game.