FACTORY RESET.

“Simon and I have been thinking. We think it’s time you moved in with one of us. You can still have your independence and bring your televisions with you, we just really think it’s time. What if you’d put your trousers in the oven, dad?”

Never thought I’d live to see the day that the egg was no longer visible on that griddle pan. One 24-pack of scouring pads and eight hours later and — kerching! — good as new.

*WALKS TO LOCAL CHINESE TAKEAWAY IN A MASSIVE SULK WHILE MUTTERING “BLOODY FAKE YOGURT” UNDER BREATH*

“I suppose your next stop should be to check the drain pipes and see if it washed down into the septic tank. You’re not allowed to sleep until the sock is found.”

“CHRONOS NOT LIKE HAVING FOLDER CONTENT ANALYSED.”

“…so you can activate it via the voice control options by selecting the toolbar and paging right to the shortcut menu until the bezel expands to indicate you’ve highlighted the option. You’ll soon get the hang of it. You’ll need to input the Wi-Fi password from the back of the router again though. It’s the […]

Simply connect the Digital Light Shade to the notifications centre of the LG Home mobile application* and you can remotely switch your home lighting ON or OFF** depending on the minute-by-minute ambient light needs of any room. * Wi-Fi or 3G/4G mobile data connection required. ** Feature only available with compatible LG SuperFilament III bulbs***. […]

#sexism #women #issues #sensitivity #trousers #2014 Hang on, though, is it actually empowering to show they can handle larger objects with ease and are, in fact, equally as capable as men at lifting and holding but just a bit smaller? It’s all so complicated. It was better when the wearing of trousers by female mobile […]

SANDY: “My colleague THERE will be happy to tell you how it operates.” JESSICA: “No, ASK HER how it operates.” SANDY: “My colleague, as I said, will tell you how it operates.” JESSICA: “Please speak to the other lady in white if you would like to know more.” SANDY: “I’m only trained in hand gestures, […]